3 'girls' and a guy

Ah, American Idol--the only place where a 17-year-old and a 29-year-old can both be lumped together as 'girls'. It's too bad there's not a black male around for Ryan to call 'boy'.

Barry Gibb continues the parade of washed-up Brits; it really makes absolutely no sense, like is the target audience really Bee Gees fans? Not to mention for the second week in a row the women are forced to sing bad white guy music. Gibb keeps calling them 'ladies.'

Melinda Doolittle up first, all in black--doing Love You Inside Out. It's okay--never really goes anywhere, just mellow the whole time. Even her fake energy can't enliven the song; it's just blah, not really her fault. Randy says he's looking to see who's in it to win, it was solid; Paula says vocals good as always, but no wow factor; Simon says I expect incredible tonight, that was a backing vocal performance. Ugh, two songs from everyone tonight--my gosh, this is gonna be torture.

Crazy Blake Lewis doing a funny version of a disco move going into the break; he's doing You Should Be Dancing. All falsetto, this should be hilarious. Gibb just mades dumb comments in the same Sean Conneryish voice they use on Saturday Night Live. My gosh--out in black, looks very non-masculine and weird. It's pretty entertaining, if not enjoyable. With all sorts of crazy beat boxish I guess stuff in there halfway through; so much for the it's a vocal competition line. Eh, it's allright, but this isn't what I tune in for. Randy says the beat box stuff didn't work, made it all very corny like a weird discotheque in some foreign country; Paula says your pitch was off, but liked the beat box stuff even if it wasn't the best night overall; Simon says unique but absolutely terrible. Ryan and the music cut Simon off, which is annoying.

LaKisha Jones doing Stayin' Alive; Gibb has nothing substantive to add, LaKisha is looking large and I guess in charge in some crazy print top; looks too intense for the song, which really should be approached with a sense of camp. Seems a bit breathless too; it's just not that great, almost like she's desperate. Randy says good thing you guys have two songs, no need to change it too much with all the start/stopping; Paula says the tempo was taken down too much, no energy; Simon says no kiss tonight, baby, back to the shouting verging on scary in parts.

Jordin Sparks next; I think she'll do best tonight, she's the only one young and fun enough to sing this kind of fluff. Really, it's like Idol is sabotaging their own contestants. She's in a fun paisley dress; says in response to a viewer question she's doing a lot more than she thought she could, three hours of school on top of everything else. Wow, perfect song choice--To Love Somebody, Gibb says it's fantastic, hasn't heard a greater version than Jordin. And from the get-go she's in a totally different league tonight; slow and soulful, sells it well, so authentic, voice cracks just right. Total control, plus above all just nice to listen to--and the chorus, she's got this look in her eyes that makes it seem like she's going through heartbreak. Voice swells big; she looks good too. I hate to say it, but she's reminding me of Katherine McPhee at her best. Randy says the best vocal so far, nice throwback, controlled vibe on it, so far you're winnning; Paula says the best vocal flat out so far; Simon says best song choice, best performance, we're back in a competition.

Melinda again, in a new outfit--grayish dress, says Michael Jackson's Bad was probably her first (tape) purchase. How Can You Mend a Broken Heart; Gibb wonder why she cut some words, she says she doesn't wanna sing about being a loser on American Idol. Better song choice, I think--but I still am instantly not caring. Really, the material is weak; are they saving the likes of Michael Jackson for the finals?! I just don't get it. I guess next week is when the judges pick the songs for them, it can't come soon enough. Randy says much better, great vocal and ending; Paula agrees but surprise us, don't stick so close to technique; Simon says second half of the song puts you into the semis. Well, that plus LaKisha has less support.

Blake is back, doing This Is Where I Came In, which Gibb says is kindof a shock, pretty obscure. Doesn't seem melodic to me; in sweater vest. It's just an odd song; kindof has a nice beat to it, does seem very contemporary, if you're into that stuff. But no fun to listen to; it's kindof like we're listening to some cult performance which deep insiders appreciate. Randy says you don't need to beat box all the time, just okay, it gets old; Paula says nothing old about Blake, dubs him the contemporary rebel; Simon says totally tuneless, not a good night.

LaKisha Jones back, as Ryan wastes time with Judge Judy in the audience, Ryan pretends she's been dating Simon for three months. Run to Me, which she practices out of tune; ugh, it seems tuneless. In bright green and black dress; she's not totally in key; I'm still not sure why they didn't all just sing the Bee Gees' top hits, these other songs are really weak. She's okay, I lost interest pretty quickly. Randy says much better than the first choice, despite the hoarseness at the end; Paula says not bad; a rushed Simon says not great, you and Blake are vulnerable tonight.

Jordin wraps up one of the most boring Idol shows of all time, doing Woman in Love. Oooh, another good choice--Babs sang it, looking forward to this. Gibb says she's gonna be one of our greatest female recording artists--wow! In turquoise gown; totally selling it, slow and controlled as ever, she's just swelling with confidence and has taken over. If she doesn't win this thing, it'll be a great upset. The song's not as great as the first one; different piece, not as much can be done with it. A bit off-key even; it's definitely missing some urgency, a bit shrieky--stellar ending though. Randy says not your best, pitchy, a tough song; Paula says you're beautiful, not the best, you know my dear; Simon says loved the song but old-fashioned and very pageantry, you're 17.

Yeah, so why's she singing the Bee Gees?

Jordin Sparks, 1
Blake Lewis, 1
Jordin Sparks, 2
Melinda Doolittle, 2
LaKisha Jones, 1
Melinda Doolittle, 1
LaKisha Jones, 2
Blake Lewis, 2