Amazing Race 9

All my posts for the season, in one place.

Amazing last race

Like it was scripted

A real race

Hippies come back

Stripped down

Latin to Greek

Usual race

Pros and the fools

Rushing through Russia

Not-so-amazing race

Amazing last race

Go hippies! They start, recapping the season; I've seen every episode but the first and part of the Germany segment. Frats around the front, hippies usually close; Ray/Yolanda have been middling until the last few episodes. Really, frats have been the superior team all year, but hippies would be a worthy winner; RY are the wild card. Hippies and RY have some sortof friendship, will be interesting to see if they'll come into play.

Hippies should have a pretty good headstart, but pattern of final leg is they try to even it up early to make it more exciting. Oh, forgot Ray and Yolanda got to stay in a hotel, with Internet access. Hippies off at 11:18 p.m., taxi to small pavilion, elephants will give them product placement. Hippies have some problem finding a cab, get one after a while. Two hours later frats get going; hippies at the elphant place already, but not open until 4 a.m. R/Y a few minutes behind frats, who they call the frat girls. Frats show up, tell cabbie to wait; R/Y too, tell their cabbie to wait too. R/Y call them cricket boys, they exchange hugs. They all get product placement at about the same time, off to Tokyo. World's biggest intersection, scan video screens to look for next clue. Ray writes down the clue. Hippies already speak Japanese, and are totally psyched. Tyler says he knows it really well, Japanese girlfriend and all. Hmm, overconfidence.

R/Y at airport first, trying to get on an early flight. Hippies ask for ANA, which isn't the earliest flight. United flihgt for frats, 2:15 p.m., hippies figure it out too, R/Y too; very full flight though. R/Y get on, so are frats. But hippies... it's full already. They're in Thailand, so language skills are of no use. I'm sure they'll get on, they cut to commercial. And flight takes off without them, they try Thai airlines, later flight, 1.5 hours afterwards. They keep trumpeting ability to speak Japanese.

R/Y get a map, then off to hotel, they take a bus together. R/Y in car already, off they go--while frats smartly ask at front desk for directions; guy prints them up a map. These guys actually deserve to win, have been the smartest. R/Y ask for directions, gotta backtrack; find expressway, meanwhile hippies land, smartly get map on bus and ask for directions. Frats are impressed by lights, happy they have map; R/Y going by signs. Hippies on highway. Frats stubmle across right building, in intersection, R/Y still on highway. Tyler keeps exalting about how at home he feels. R/Y lost; frats in square already.

They start looking, find it pretty quickly. Find Hachiko, statue of a dog. Get directions, get clue from guy. Detour: maiden: either to tea garden, carry palaquin 1/3rd of mile; or messenger, put together bike, deliver packages to two buildings. Obviously maiden, directions a bit hard. Get cab, hippies show up second, find sign, find dog, speak Japanese to guy, off they go. They do the bikes, ugh.

Frats already doing their task; Tyler's using his Japanese, they assemble bike pretty fast, off they go to delivery. It's funny, small bikes, they look very natural though. And Tyler totally knows where they're going. R/Y still stuck in traffic.

Frats are good at spending a few minutes now to save lotsof time down the road; R/Y just run head-first into things. They ask directions, frats are done with their task. To capsule land hotel, to get next clue. Hippies yell 'crazy foreigners coming through, please excuse us'; deliver first package, off to second. R/Y still driving, finally park. Like 2 hours behind? Don't see their clue. Hippies get second package done, advantage is they're already in town. R/Y find clue on sign, find statue, and clue, do carry task. Frats find cab, off to hotel. Hippies just finish, off they go. R/Y show up at gardens, start carrying. Frats at hotel already, gotta stay till 9 a.m., so lead is gone, they crack up when they see capsules. R/Y chanting as they carry palaquin, hit a tree. Finish, off to hotel, say goodbye to girl; cabbie knows where to go.

Hippies get to hotel, leave 15 minutes behind frats. Not bad, saved 2 hours; R/Y are 30 minutes behind frats, join the party--pretty warm greeting. All three teams seem to like each other. Frats have to drive to amusement park at base of Mt. Fuji; get directions first, onto highway. Hippies don't seem to get much in the way of directions; R/Y go to Denny's, to try and get directions. All they understand is highway, but get on the correct lane. Ray's practicing asking diretions, he says. Frats still in lead, ask for directions, van guy says follow me. Hippies keep talking about how this is their ideal last leg. Hippies have caught frats, just follow them, then pass them. Frats are funny; tie at clue box.

Road block--someone's gotta take three rides in a row. And must see a message along the way--othewise, gotta do all three again, wow. This could suck for someone. Tyler asks others to help him on the ride. Frat guy says how can you read anything from here?! It's a pretty crazy ride. Hippy and frat are together; R/Y show up at toll booth, can't find their ticket....

A lot more commercials than usual for the finale. R/Y gotta go to some guy on the side, pay a bunch, ask him for directions. Hippy lets someone touch his beard on a ride, frats mutters you're an idiot. One's having fun, the other not so much. Middle rid e is probably where sign is, roller coaster. Nope, nothing. Third ride, Another roller coaster, they both see the sign. They both get clue, dumb, can hear each other say what they saw. Now to Lake Yamanka, at base of Mt. Fuji--gotta pedal a boat across to giant swan, pit stop. They're off, R/Y not even at amusement park; frats follow hippies. R/Y beginning to bicker, just get to park. Yolanda totally talking trash now, gotta do the rides, maybe she'll get it out of her system.

Hippies driving, both teams talking about how Tyler tried to psych frat boy out with false sign sighting. Yolanda sees sign, off they go; she seems to be in a much better mood. They find lake on map, off they go. More bickering.

Hippies at lake, totally happy. Hippies get to boat first, frats are just mocking them, hippies forget to untie boat, frats are gonna be much better at this. Hippies are totally going too fast, frats are just going steady. Not sure why they're both going crazy, who cares--hippies get there first, are happy. Win product placement. Frats say hippies are playing dirty, hippies say makes up for the cab. R/Y show up, last but still in the race.

Hour two. So great. 12th pit stop, mandatory rest; they eat a meal together. Hippies leave at 12:18 a.m. Fly to Anchorage next. They leave some money for R/Y. Hippies say they've been training for this their whole life; scrape off their cars, off they go. 2 minutes later frats go. Hippies are off, frats right behind them. Frats and hippiees go two different ways. Three hours later, R/Y take off, with just hippies' money, say it's nice of them. Gotta go begging still.

Hippies at hotel already, shuttle leaves at 6:10 a.m., get Internet access. Frats ask about Internet, guy at front desk lies, per hippies' directions. R/Y go to restuarant, ask for money, good luck in racist Japan. Some drunk guys says she looks like Janet Jackson, they give them money and stuff. It's hilarious actually.

Hippies researching flights, find Northwest flight, 10:53 a.m. Frats use telephone, get 7:50 a.m. to Alaska--earlier than hippies, on Air Nippon. So hippie trick of denying them Internet access didn't work. Hippies pretend they just showed up, frats are like we've been here for an hour, frats tell hippies there's no Internet, front desk people are laughing. On the bus, no R/Y yet; they're still paying tolls.

Bus at airport, frats ditch hippies, hide from them. R/Y show up at hotel, bright daylight. Frats get on their flight, off they go; smart. Hippies find out earlier flight, at airport, get on later flight to Taipei, but same flight to Alask. R/Y show up at airport, get on 2:40 p.m. to Anchorage, they're totally screwed. Check another airline.... Frats in Taipei, watching counter to see if anyone shows up. R/Y try to get to Taipei outof Japan, run, people say it's closed, they ask again if they can get on--how come you didn't tell us earlier--sorry... ah, racism, gotta love it.

Commercial breaks getting shorter, 45 minutes left. R/Y ask airline people to try, they do, and they get on flight. Hippies and R/Y on same flight, all get into Taipei--why didn't frats try stand-by or something? Everyone's on the same flight to Alaska; totally mad that R/Y show up too.

What a great race. Land in Anchorage, heavy snow. Frats run to cars, hippies get in first; gotta go to Mirror Lake, cluebox in the middle of the snow. R/Y 2nd, frats in last for once. Hippies get directions from guy at ticket booth; R/Y ask the brother same, frats same. Stewart highway, R/Y ask for directions just to be safe; frats in second now, I think. Hippies in front, frats pass. frats first, hippies right behind them. All get to cluebox around same time, detour: Drill it, ice fishing on a lake, drill 10 holes, push shack to cover two holes. Deliver it, load plane with medical supplies, then fly 150 miles to airfield roundtrip to airfield, deliver supplies--who's crazy enough to do that?!

Well, the hippies... weather bad, so they gotta drill it too. Hippies watching frats; in the lead; frats faster, hippies pretend they've got four done already. R/Y lost, as always; turns out they need to just go straight. Hippies at 8, frats at 9; frats done, hippies much slower. Frats already pushing shack, just stronger; almost done pushing, hippies still drilling. Frats done; hippies haven't even started push.

To Kincaid park, find chalet, put on snow shoes, search park for cluebox. Where are R/Y? Hippies done, like 10 minutes back I'd say. R/Y show up, hippies are leaving. Ray drilling super-fast. R/Y not having fun in the cold, counting on catching them at the airport. Finally done. Frats at park, hippies right behind; go right past snow shoes, can't see them; keep passing them, idiots.

Back from commercials, hippies finally find them. R/Y putting pressure on themselves in the car. Frats on the trail, hippies too. Element of luck here; frats find the cluebox, pretty fast. Now just fly to Denver... to Clear Creek History park for next clue. Frats already grab a cab, on way to airport. Hippies get cluebox, finally. To airpotr too. R/Y just showing up, it's dark, so much later. Frats get on 11:10 p.m. flight, earliest. Hippies borrow cabbies' cell phone, on same flight. R/Y finishing, keep saying they'll catch 'em at the airport. Hippies follow frats, to other terminal on bus. Night, R/Y get cab; at airport, everyone's on the same flight.

Denver, frats as usual in front. All in cabs to Golden; frats look for clue, find it first; off to Red Rocks. hippies show up as frats are leaving; Jeremy yells to cabbie do you know Red Rocks, hippies may have heard--find clue, maybe a bit behind. R/Y show up, have problems finding clue, they're out of it. Frats in a fast cab, they urge the driver on, in the lead by a matter of minutes.

Frats there, find box already; roadblock. Run into field of 285 flags, find flag of each of the nine countries they visited during the race; must put flags in the order in which they visited. Placard has flag guide, with extra flags; teammate can help by yelling, no physical assistance. Eric gets Brazil first, doing it smartly. Hippies show finally, frats already have done two. Brain game though. Eric's put a flag incorrectly. BJ doesn't recognize Russian flag, also wrong order. Frats smartly go backwards. R/Y haven't found clue yet, finally do in hen house.

Both flag teams are one off. Tyler totally encouraging BJ; frats having trouble. Frat has last three right; finishes, but doesn't have right order. They rethink; change up, still wrong. Frats only have two wrong, slowly getting it. BJ doing it backwards, getting them right. Jeremy tells Eric to go find another flag, he does, still wrong. Hippies are done, and are right!

They run, total victory lap, everyone's there cheering; and... did they do everything right--they're hugging, Phil wants to talk to them. And says they're the official winners.

Ah, brains over brawn in the end. So exciting. Phi says it did come down to brains. The world is a beautiful place, Tyler says, talks about the people they met. What great winners. Frats next, they don't show them figuring the flags out. And they're not at all happy. Eric says those guys are smart; Jeremy make a funny joke, didn't know the last one would be brains. They're good-natured kids.

Four of them shake hands, they're really pretty decend guys. Ray and Yolanda finish, lotsof cheering for them too. And they seem to have wound up on a good note, both strong-willed people. Hippies say being smart doesn't help as much as being aware in the moment.

I'm glad the hippies won, but really, if the frats had won I'd be happy too. What a great season. What a great show.

Like it was scripted

Well, the key Amazing Race, the hippies gotta overcome no dough to make the final three. The recap is hilarious, a lot happened last time. Still can't believe hippy #2 did that stupid bridge thing.

At this point, anyone but MoJo winning would be fine with me. Part two kicks off with Ray/Yolanda leaving at 1:13 a.m. Gotta fly to Bangkok, then ride a bus to a pagoda that houses a bunch of monkeys. R/Y put some pants on the hippies' car. Other three teams take off 7 minutes later. One of the frats give the hippies a pair of sandals. Five minutes later, MoJo leave, with a fake 'Asian' accent. They pass the frats.

Two minutes later, the hippies are off. They get some clothes from the lost and found, too. They vow to knock off MoJo. Airport's pretty much closed, R/Y find a phone and get on a flight that lands at 11 p.m. MoJo find an agent, somewhere. Hippies go begging, before booking their flight.... MoJo get on same flight as R/Y, frats too via the phone. Hippies are begging in downtown, go to a club and make an announcement, some people are like 'we're not stingy, we'll help you', some women get them to take off their shirt. Back to airport with money, frats talk to them--but the 11 pm flight it totally full. Idiots, total idiots. They show the flight everybody else is on taking off. Sheesh, why didn't they book the tickets first, then go get money?

Back at the airport, still on the phone with travel agent, seats just become available on a flight that lands 15 minutes early, gosh, so lucky; via Perth, other teams via Sydney. To Lopburi once they land... first flight lands 45 minutes early. Frats leave airport first, then R/Y, than MoJo. Bickering already, and complaining about the taxi driver.

At bus terminal, first one leaves at twelve. R/Y get on the same bus, MoJo pull up... ticket booth closed. Booth opens at 4:50 a.m., guy tells them; so off to a hotel. Hippies land, flight delayed a bit. 12:18 and off to the bus terminal, they love being in Thailand. They also have to catch the 5:00 bus. MoJo show up, hippies slept in terminal overnight. Looking for the others, they get on the 4:20 bus, and off it goes... MoJo just showing up, take 5:20, the agents tell them it's the first one.

It'll be fine, am sure temple isn't open at night. Frats and R/Y on the way to the pagoda, R/Y get there first--doesn't open until 8 a.m., it's 5:45. Sunrises, monkey's on the clue box. Frats check out the monkeys, they're climbing all over the frats. Hippies show up, and are there--along with everyone else, totally lucky. Doors open, hippies in first actually, with a fast forward.

Oooh. Big advantage. Taxi to restaurant, eat crickets and grasshoppers. Hippies do it, R/Y too. Frats--nah, roadblock. Prepare a monkey feast for the shrine monkeys. Eric's doing it, his buddy says he's good at preparing meals for monkeys. Hippies at restaurant, see the insects, but are game. R/Y show up, they're happy too. It'll be a race. Hippies trying to figure out if they can do it. R/Y not sure, and they decide to bail, great for hippies! Whoo-hoo!

MoJo still on the bus, they show up, realize they're last, off they go to make the feast. Joseph is making the food for some reason; back come R/Y. Ray guesses it'll take hippies three hours to eat bugs. No way; they just gotta eat. Food making goes on, Yolanda looks like she's doing well. Monkeys attack Erci's table while he's gone, then Yolanda's too. Eric's done, off they go. Taxi then ferry to Koh Kret island, search Buddha Garden grounds for next clue. Off frats go. Hippies are throwing up, but still eating. They have a lot left to eat. They juxtapose a shot of monkeys eating with Monica eating. Joseph is done, off they go. Yolanda's done, off they go, very close to MoJo. They're not rude, are taking things in; I like them, they're 5 minutes behind Ray says. More throwing up for hippies. They start saying they've made a big mistake, are in big trouble. Idiots, just eat the bugs, for a shot at one million dollars how hard can it be?

They redouble efforts, are almost done. Just shoveling it in, and oneof them's done. Frats on a ferry, are zooming, liking Thailand, and the beautiful garden. Detour--move it, carry a bunchof pottery through town to a boat--on wooden boards, ooh. Altar it, to temple, make a shrine to Buddha--gold leaf a statue of Buddha, ouch. Frats doing the altar one. MoJo show up, we know from previews they carry pottery; R/Y come, bit behind; idiot Joseph want to dumbly doing stuff without finding a clue; R/Y find the clue first, doing altar too. MoJo still running around. Heh heh.

They go off to make a Buddha, Tyler's almost done--and... that's it, so totally happy. To Marble Temple, just don't get lost. Frats starting their altar making, smartly look at the finished statues first. They're pretty smart, divide up tasks. R/Y show up, and they divideup too. MoJo decide to do pottery, instead of Buddha, when they see the other two teams there. Dumb, dumb. R/Y say they hope the other task drives MoJo crazy. Joseph's doing a double row of pots on his board, rudely tells someone to show them where the goal is, they're just flailing. Hippies talk about how great it is to be at the pit stop--wow, they're already there, so much time saved. More importantly, they've made the finals. Awesome.

MoJo have to walk out to boat, have done 46, pretty fast actually. Frats and R/Y are chatting, both teams seem to be doing pretty well, frats are about done. Frats finish, after having to repair some stuff; ferry, then taxi, then temple and it's done. Hmm, fast forward didn't save so much time after all. R/Y are not done, smooth it down... MoJo take off, Jospeh has some extra pots--Monica drops a ton, she's just giving up, dropping even more, pretty much all but two, and she's crying like crazy--why not go back and get more? Joseph's actually pretty good, keeps encouraging her. One more trip, he's still encouraging here.

Frats are looking for a taxi, can't find one, think they're gonna lose. R/Y are done, off they go, not too far behind the frats they say. Joseph just carries the pots himself the last time, they're done, are 4th. Now a race to the checkpoint, frats finally find a cab. R/Y based on editing are neck and neck with MoJo, but I think they're find, find a cab really fast. MoJo get a cab so fast, he's still encouraging; and R/Y have caught up to frats in traffic, the frats think. Based on the sun, I think MoJo are pretty far behind--frats at the checkpoint already, yeah, R/Y will be third.

Frats deserve to be in final, have probably been the best team so far. R/Y get out, and are running; they show MoJo, trying to make it seem close, but R/Y are totally in third. Yolanda needs to cover her arms, and... it's R/Y, of course, awesome. And they also get a special prize, trip to Australia; plus a luxurious hotel tonight.

Yaay, MoJo are eliminated. R/Y are pretty happy. MoJo show up; and Monica cries of course. And she cries more afterwards talking about it. It's a good side of them, wish they hadn't been so ugly before.

All three teams talk, it's gonna be such a great race next week. Sneak peek--Japan to Canada, a lot of hippies footage bodes well, maybe. 'On like Donkey Kong' as the hippies say.

A real race

They're painting this as hippies vs. Joseph and Monica. Perth, Australia. Frats off first, 11:47 p.m. To Swan Bells tower, bells given by England for Aussie bicentennial. 11:48, MoJo off, yammering about the hippies. Four of them work as a team. 11:56, hippies off. And everyone's all bunched up, and they lie to the hippies--no cabs for them. They get one right away; 12:34--R/Y going. They get lucky, grab a cab that's dropping other people off. Duh, place opens at 8 a.m. Monica gets hit on in front of an unhappy Joseph. Hippies strategize how to point out to Jo that Eric's been flirting with Monica....

Ray does something smart, gets a cab for the next morning; then hippies, then frats; then they cancel the hippies' taxi, and then they cancel Ray's cab. Hippies first, then R/Y, gotta go to Darwin, Australia. Joseph throw hippies out of their cab. Frats can't find theirs, either. Ray finds out somebody canceled their cabs. They blame MoJo. Ray's not happy, at all, he may beat them up. Hippies get a cab; R/Y finally get in a cab, the second one they called; the frats can't get one, bad karma I guess; Eric says that himself. Heh-heh.

Frats get a cab at the hotel, off to the airport. JoMo talk more about how much they hate the hippies. Ray's rippin on Monica, calls her a barbie doll. Monica says she'll give the reservation clerk a kiss, if he doesn't tell anyone else. Hippies confront them about cab, weridly enough they don't deny it. Frats show up, say they never denied it. Hippies say rumor going around that Monica/Eric getting close.

Everyone's on the same flight to Darwin, travel guy never gets his kiss. Hippies get visitor info, then 3rd in cars, R/Y are last. Crocodylus park, not open until 9 a.m. Joseph's not very happy, listening to people talking about his chick. They have to get into suits to go into croc cage, get tips from guides. Monica's freaked. Hippies get their clue, off they go. Gotta drive to Batchelor, find an airfield, Yield ahead....

MoJo out next. Frats 4rd, R/Y as always are bringing up the rear. Everyone gets out and are traveling convoy-style. MoJo just blasts past them. Skydiving sign.... Hippies are ready to run. It's gonna be a foot race, hipies take a shortcut, and yield MoJo. Roadblock, somebody's gotta skydive outof plane. Monica all upset about being there first. Frats yield nobody, nor do R/Y. Monica obsesses over losing the footrace, and they snipe at each other. She starts crying.

BJ up first. Then Eric in another plane, then Ray in a third. Monica's still crying. BJ jumps, loves it. Jeremy starts flirting with Yolanda. Hippies off to national park, need to find magnetic termite mounds and search for cluebox. They say bye to MoJo on their way out; the time's already run out, they're still bickering and still waiting. Ray comes down, off they go. Hippies at park already, start looking for cluebox, find it pretty quickly.

Detour: Wet--swim 1-mile course down jungle river with spiders and poisonous plants; or Dry--6-mile off-road drive, to 'Lost City', must find nearby aboriginal who matches the pattern on their instrument. Hippies do swim. Monica's having a blast coming down.

Frats at mounds, find it quickly, choose wet. R/Y find cluebox fast, doing dry. Hippies show up on course, they seem to be having fun doing it. Frats not far behind, race behind them. JoMo ask for directions to termite fields, Monica's saying they're doomed. I hope they lose here, I could see them in the finals doing whatever it takes to sabotage hippies, even if it means screwing themselves over.

Back, Monica's going off on hippies, says yielding them was sleazy, that's eactly how hippies are. And if MoJo had gotten there first.... They find cluebox fast, off to dry. R/Y find their instrument; first guy, they don't match. Hippies swimming, amonst the spiders. It's taking hippies forever, they say. R/Y match with second guy, Ray can't make the tone at first. But then gets it, pretty quickly; it's her turn, she's laughing. This is pretty cool, actually; she gest it quickly too. Off to Lake Bennett, freshwater lake--and pit stop. Or it might continue, not sure of timing of sweeps.

And they nearly run into MoJo on the way back. Meanwhile, hippies are still swimming, frats are wooried too. And they're nearly up to the hippies. R/Y say they know exactly where they're going. MoJo doing their task already! Hmm, what's with the editing.... And they're done quickly, in second. Hippies finally at cluebox, in 3rd but think they're winning. Frats right behind them. Hippies are out a few minutes faster, at most.

R/Y finish--first! Guy with whips welcomes them. And they're totally happy. R/Y are totally happy, winning solves everything. MoJo on dirt track; they say their map has resort on it, the other maps don't. Hippies ask frats, not ambulance driver--and MoJo pull out, right behind hippies, who are behind frats. Wow, another footrace here.

And Joseph gives them the finger, which they blur out. Wow, this is exciting. Everyone's bunched up, driving as fast as they can. Hippies park at the end, and Monica's last, by quite a bit, one hippy for some reason takes a shortcut which doesn't work out for him, MoJo beats him! It's a non-elim leg, again! And MoJo are not happy, after gloating a few minutes ago. And Monica goes off on the hippies.

Off to Thailand next. MoJo freak out, it looks like.

Photo of Ray and Yolanda from CBS.

Hippies come back

They run last week's highlights, including the hilarious digging in the desert exchange between Ray ('get a pattern going') and Yolanda ('yo momma got a pattern going'). Made even funnier by how she said it under her breath.

From the Green Castle in Oman, to... Australia! No money for the hippies. Old people take off at 5:35 p.m., to Perth. 9,000 miles away. And they drop off $20 bucks at the car of the hippies, how cool. Joseph/Monica pretend to give hippies money, but chortle and take off. Idiots. Ah, I guess hippies asked to give them money. The king's coming, so the roads are blocked. An hour behind are Ray and Yolanda, they give the hippies some money, black people are so much more giving and generous. Yolanda and Ray talk about how JoMo pretend to be nice, but aren't. Frat boys give hippies nuttin.

King's gone, traffic moves. Wow, fireworks. Hippies have $30. They're counting on their goofy attitude to get them past stuff. At airport, Jo/Mo beat old people, then R/Y, then frats. Other people don't think hippies will be able to make it. On the way they pick up hitchhikers--one who's a bedouin from the desert. At the airport, everyone's on the same flight. Hippies need gas, ugh. Guy they're with buys them some candy bars, then gas, then mango juice--they touch noses, it's pretty cool actually. Hmm, will they make it in time....

10 minutes to takeoff, and they're just pulling in. Some airport guy grabs them, come with me. Frats say they're sure hippies won't make it, MoJo don't think so either. And the guy--gets them the tickets, woman tells them to run. And off they go--just in time. Good karma, baby.

R/Y are happy to see them, so are old people; Jo/Mo are mad, frat boys annoyed too. They start working the aisles, asking for money--long flight, so plenty of time. IN Perth, need to find war memorial. Old people somehow last. Frats leading, then Jo/Mo. Hippies made over $300, they have more than anyone else.

Frats first to box, to Fremantle, then ferry to some resort island. Jo/Mo next, R/Y--who say they can't afford it by cab, hippies--told they can take a bus. R/Y's driver tells them about bus, too. Old people there next. Frats and Jo/Mo get to ferry place, doesn't depart until 7:30 a.m. Everyone goes off to hostel.

Hippies and R/Y off to get a bus. Everyone else checks into hostel. Bus people show up, a bit later, totally lucky. Then again, saved tons of money. Everyone's on same ferry. Gotta ride a tandem bike to lighthouse. Frats first, Jo/Mo, hippies, old people, blacks. Old people like bikes, they say. R/Y change places, so he's in front. Frats to box first, detour. Either sand--grab a pile of 40 branches, drag to a sand dune to 'brush' the beach (prevents sea erosion); sea--dive and search through 50 crayfish traps to find 2 crayfish, most traps are empty. Jo/Mo next, then hippies, Jo/Mo are just heaping abuse on them for some reason. R/Y show up, say old people may look old, but they're goood.

Hippies catch up to frats, both doing sea. Hippies do dragging. Jo/Mo going somewhere else, are lost, start yelling at each other. Idiots. She's right, he screams at her, gosh what an ugly couple. Frat boys rely on their amazing luck, go diving. Old people do drag too. Frats find a crayfish. Frats find their second one. In first, gotta go to Fremantle prison. Tunnels under the prison.... Hippies about done. Off they go. Jo/Mo dive. Where's R/Y? Jo/Mo get just one. R/Y show up, old people are about done, they do branches too. Idiots Jo/Mo go back for another one. Old people done. Monica has trouble getting crayfish, freaks out, says she's scared of it, can't do it. Idiot.

Amazing how much of a difference editing can make. She grabs it, off they go. R/Y still dragging. They're done, bit behind. Frats still biking. Frats run for ferry, make it before everyone else, just as it's pulling out--the 9:15 a.m. one. Hippies decide to get on 9:25 a.m. to Hillary and taxi down. Old people want a cab waiting before they get off ferry. Jo/Mo there, too. R/Y zip in, and they... make the 10:00 ferry too.

Fremantle, frats off, and off to prison. Hippies cab it. Jo/Mo order a taxi from ferry. Frats at prison already. Roadblock. Search prison for one cell with duracell batteries and flashlight, then gotta go down into tunnels and look for next clue. Whoah. Frat one finds batteries already. Then has trouble finding tunnel. Hippies stuck in traffic. R/Y try to grab a cab on street, old people's didn't show so they go off looking too. They wind up taking a bus to the prison. Frat #1 still can't find tunnel. Jo/Mo show, frats say they've been there for an hour. Hippies thrid. Frat #1 finds the tunnel finally. Jo and Tyler running around, Jo finds batteries. Tyler does next. Frat #1 paddling boat around; R/Y show up, Yolonda's gonna do it. And the old woman... oh-oh. Frat #1 finds clue, off he goes. Jo finds tunnels, as frat boy comes out; he tells him to take the canoe. Heh heh.

Frats off to pit stop, sailing club. Were gonna steal someone's cab, wind up just walking. Joseph finds his clue. Tyler can't find the tunnels. Yolanda finds the light. Fran next. None of the final three can find the tunnel. MoJo grab their cab, off they go. Frats run to club. Frats and MoJo get there about the same time, it's a footrace. Frats beat them out by a matter of feet. Tyler helps Yolanda to find tunnel, then Fran. Now it's pure luck who gets it first--Tyler finds his, off they go, their cabbie waited. Yolanda finds hers, Fran hers.

Editing makes it seem like they're neck and neck, but R/Y grab cab, off they go. Old people from first to last. Hippies finish 3rd, and they dance. R/Y are nervous. Old people say they feel sick. R/Y can't find breakwater, old people running too. And it's... R/Y! Yaay.

Wow, next elimination will be down to final three. This season has flown by. Fran says she won't cry, as they're eliminated; they're a good couple.

Next race--there are gators. Jo/Mo and the hippies seem to turn up their rivalry.

Uncredited photo of Fran and Barry from the Amazing Race.

Stripped down

Ah, a Southern white trash-free show... well, except for the opening recap. At this point, actually, I'm fine with whatever one of the five remaining teams wins. Obviously rooting for the hippies to climb outof last, or the black couple, but if in the end frat boys deserve to win, well....

Frat boys take off at 11:54 p.m., fly to Muscat, Oman. Interesting, see how much ugliness we see. Bus doesn't leave visitor's center until 9:00 a.m. J/M leave at like 4:30, what a huge lead; 4:41 a.m. is R/Y, overthinking where the visitor center is. They snipe back and forth over his cursing, she's upset. At least they're talking--but walking separately. Old people at 6:20 a.m., then hippies--ooh, at 8:51, they're going to be on the second bus. So they run across the bridge.

Bus passes the hippies, everyone's laughing. On the 10:00 a.m. bus, not bad. At airport, old people find a flight that arrives at 10:50 p.m. Frats follow the old people, everyone else follows them too. Gulf Air, via Bahrain. Old people showing a tougher side. Hippies by themselves on the bus, they do a hilarious impression of the Southerners, and the other teams that have lost.

They join the group, nobody tells them anything, play dumb. For some reason hippies leave, and take a later flight, SwissAir, via Doha, 11:45. Okay.... Flight may have been full, it's unclear. First flight lands on time, off people run. Very interesting. Into like huge Toyota, off they go. Frat boys find it clean, and pretty. Everyone's marveling at hope beautiful everything is. Gotta go to some park. Hippies find a friend who offers to take them to the park, cool.

Gates don't open till 6:00 am., so they all hang out in parking lot, including late-arriving hippies. R/Y have their discussion in the car, she tells him not to talk to him for the rest of the time. Oh-oh. At least they're talking, I think they'll be fine, as long as they're not eliminated.

Gates open, and it's a foot race. Frats, blacks, hippies, couple, old people. Gotta drive 135 miles to town of Sur, fishing town; find a ferry crossing for the next box. Frats drve first, rest close behind. R/Y are sniping again. Hippies wanna let others pass them. Old people reading the map, they find a sign. Old people now in front. R/Y lost. Hippies and J/M are driving along a dirt road, being led through water by a native, hippies and J/M are grateful. The guy helps old people, frats make fun of him before following him, blacks are waaay behind. Hippies in the lead, another flooded road. Jockey with J/M to see who's going first, then frats join up. And bust through, everyone else follows.

Blacks are guided by same guy, make it through no problem. In Sur they ask for directions, follow frat boys for themost part. Hippies get there first, then J/M, then old people. Camel--load a camel into a pickup truck, then deliver to a Bedouin camp; or Watchtower--search among three watchtowers for a message box, deliver it to a merchant.

Everyone's doing watchtower. Frats show up. Everyone's racing to the watchtowers. Frats doing camel. Talk to the camel, they're actually smart, not following the herd. Hippies get lucky, find message box right away. Then old people are off with them too, they get first boat back. J/M give up, off to do camel. Frats get the camel up, hippies get guide to show them to shop. Hippies even have time to do a sketch of the camel, which J/M have no trouble with really. Frats off driving somewhere, old people and hippies find merchant, old people actually in first right now. 80 miles to Al Hawiya, to oasis for next clue; hippies in second.

Frats are lost or something; Monica is yelling in the back of the pickup, they disagree over where to turn, Joseph's right, in third. Frats are totally lost, and hot in the sun. They finally find the place... still no sign of R/Y. Ah, here they are; do the camel. Frat boy makes fun of her name. She's concerned about the camel, says it doesn't small that bad. They find the place pretty quickly, but are behind by quite a bit.

At the oasis old people somehow show up first; hippies beat them to clue box by a second. Roadblock: gotta dig through 117 sand mounds until they find one of 6 buried dishes, which will be their dinner. It's burning hot, they have a lot of work to do. Monica's having a great time, they show up. This is where late-arriving teams actually have an advantage, assuming someone doesn't get lucky early. Frats show up... they usually have very good luck. It's hot, and dirty. And old man hits dinner first. Then Monica. R/Y seem to be doing bit better. Monica's first to get it out.

Now 150 miles to Jabreen Castle, the pit stop. Old man gets dinner, off they go. Eric finds one; hippy still looking, getting frustrated. And Ray/Yolanda show up. B.J. getting frustrated. Ray tells Yolanda take your time, gotta get a pattern going; she shoots back your momma's got a pattern going. Then finds one, encourages BJ not to give up.

This game is pretty unfair sometimes, hippies made up a lot of time--through things being closed--and now they're falling behind again. And then he finds one, they're pretty stoked; good friendship, Tyler's very positive. Now it's a pure race, and some navigating. Probably non-elim, so it's all cool.

Frats take a shortcut... R/Y snipe again. Nizwa... J/M closing in, old people right behind; where are the frats? J/M get directions, very close. And it's--old people! They freak out; it's pretty amazing, win a trip to Rome. Odd, it gets a lot darker before J/M show. They're not happy. In pitch darkness the frats are driving somewhere. R/Y finish--third, and they're pretty happy; say they've managed to overcome things, need to work stuff out. Frats are totally lost, maybe. Hippies on highway, who's next... frats are depressed--and it's... frats, ugh. Hippies show up last, with stuff on.

But it's a non-elim, so they're still in it. No money. They're kindof crazy, but so cool, with no possessions they say they'll be stronger than ever. And maybe they will. To Australia next.

Photos of BJ and Tyler from Amazing Race website.

Latin to Greek

They feature Southerners at the top, hopefully this is the last we see of them.

10:33 p.m., the frat boys take off first--for Rome, on 8 a.m. train. Five minutes later the hippies get going. Then Joseph/Monica, few hours later, talk about how up and down they've been. Fran/Barry a few minutes later.

Frat boys get to train station, then hippies. Lake/Michelle leave a bit after midnight, ugh. And they start yelling at each other right away, he's just a jerk, swears at her. Ray/Yolanda are last, at like 1 a.m. But it's all good, big reunion at the station, which doesn't even open until 4 a.m.

They arrive in Rome, some cab, others take the subway to Trevi Fountain. Ray/Yolanda suck at train station, somehow. Frat boys at fountain already, find guy on scooter, now gotta go find horse carriages a mile away at Spanish Steps, a bit of a Da Vinci code commercial, it's like a puzzle/code. Dumb.

Why are frat boys so much faster than everyone else? J/M just getting to fountain, Metro riders are who knows where. Hippies are 3rd, then Southerners, then old people, than R/Y. Frat boys at steps, off they gotta go to Athens. Crack code, just says bring these papers to the pit stop. Not much of a code, put one sheet of paper over the other.

Everyone's bunching behind the frat boys at the steps, and cracking the code, then taking cabs to the airport. Frat boys at the airport first, get on 7:25 p.m. flight. J/M, hippies right behind them, then Southerners. Everyone's on the same flight; old people next, then R/Y--all on Olympic Air. Land, off to the Agora via cabs. Quite a happening leg, no commercial yet. Wow, for once frat boys near last--ooh, hippies are last. But Agora doesn't open until 8 a.m.; in a pouring rain everyone's looking for the clue box, some running, others content to let others find.

J/M get there first--a fast forward. Go to a restaurant, break plates until they find a marker, one out of hundreds of plates. J/M do it; R/Y take train to Isthmos Station, like a hundred plus miles away by train. Frat boys go for FF too, old people too. Southerners to train, hippies too. Wind up helping out R/Y with bus directions. Frat boys show up second at restaurant, pure luck at this point--and the frat boys get it. Off to Fortress of Rion, on coast. They waste some time smashing rest of plates. Old people get to restaurant, frat boys gone already. Ugh.

Southerners on train, hippies and R/Y catch it just in time. J/M having trouble getting a cab, say they're out of it. J/M squabble a bit on train to station, he lectures her. Old people taking cab, blame falling behind on not being able to run fast enough. Monica's crying at station, Joseph says it'll be okay; old people show up, they're on same train.

Nice view out at coast; hippies happy, white trash man says not as pretty as Italy. They apparently all get off train at wrong place, wind up taking bus. Get there together, roadblock: bungee jumping. Second group of couples get off at the right station, old woman says she'll do roadblock, then doesn't wanna do it, scared. Nice camera shots. R/Y go first, for once, off they go after Ray jumps. Detour: either Herculean effort--three ancient Olympic events, discus/javelin/wrestling. Or It's All Greek to Me--look for nine pieces of pottery, translate Greek letters to English, spell out city.

R/Y have a map (good), drive off. Hippies jump, they love it. Hmm, frat boys are really gonna have a huge lead. Hippies do Olympics. Southerners jump, he's cheering for her for once, doing Olympics too. J/M get there, she jumps, loves it, doing Olympics. Fran is totally scared, and is just standing there, freaking out, very loudly too.

Back from break, she jumps, is totally terrified. But does it, doesn't look happy afterwards. They do pottery. Southerners discover their map is all in Greek, he's cursing at her, they start freaking out. Idiots. Frat boys driving, pit stop already, and they're done. For cracking the code and being first, they get to attend Da Vinci Code premiere.

R/Y get to Olympics first. She tosses discus, pathetically, but good enough. Hippies may be lost... they're cool about it. Southerners are just yelling at each other. J/M get to Olympics as Ray's throwing javelin, he's having trouble. Quite a bit of trouble. As is Joseph, once they get there. Old couple just jamming with pottery. Southerners lost. Southerners stumble across letter thing, start picking things up. Hippies are totally lost. Into gas station, turns out they've been going the wrong way for--hours. They're like this is it, we're done; but civil about it. Oh no, the show's over if these guys are out....

They're apologizing to each other, back they go. Joseph gets javelin first, then Ray has more trouble. Old people get help translating word. Southerners are yelling at each other, per always. Joseph wrestles guy, they have to get him out of circle--through dumb luck he does. Off to pit stop, 107 miles by car... man, hippies are lucky this is probably a non-elim round. Ray finally makes javelin. They get wrestler out working together, currently in third. But then ask for where fortress is, woman says Patra, he looks on map, sees Petra. Ugh.

Southerners are just screaming at each other, this is not a good task, requires brainwork. Old people find city pretty quickly, off the go in 4th. Southern chick gets it, husband doubts it but then says good job. They're off driving, randomly; old people smash into tree, back window's destroyed. Ask for directions, in the right way. Olympics for hippies, wasting time celebrating. Southerners going the wrong way; she forces him to stop and breath, he's freaking out. Hippies get werstler out, after a while. They get directions.

Everyone's driving; R/Y get there second--that's amazing. They're not overly celebrating; get a penalty for not following clue correctly, 15 minutes for taking bus to train station, along with the other teams. J/M next, they wind up 2nd in actuality. R/L 3rd by a little bit. Southerners are giving up, driving. Hippies think they're last too. Old people are--where? Team #4. Hippies get there, astonishingly enough, before hated white trash. They're totally shocked.

Southerners show up last, just giving up coming out of car--hippies beat them even with penalty. Big kiss for Phil from both of them. Lake and Michelle are last. And are eliminated. He says they got along great most of the time; stressful times and you wanna blame your partner. She says afterwards their relationship works for them, they're getting by the best they can. Ugh.

Oh-oh, Ray and Yolanda are yelling at each other--off to the Middle East, hippies look like they're still behind too. Oh-oh.

Photo of Lake and Michelle from Amazing Race website.

Usual race

Amazing Race is at a new day and time, right before American Idol's results show. They start by recapping the season results to date. Was thinking it'd be cool if they tried to do shows that would be linked to current events/historical anniversaries, or even just better tied to the week that they air. So like next week's holy week for Catholics, they could be in Israel or something.

So, Sicily. They highlight the two couples likely to finish last today, the Southern hicks and the one non-white couple left. Hippies leave first, at like 2:11 a.m., gotta drive to nearby town. They say frat boys definitely dumb, can have a lot of good luck but will eventually run out. They take time to rub the tummy of a dog in the middle of the road. Frat boys are like 2 hours behind. Next, an hour later, Monica and Joseph. They don't have a map? Crazy. They take a map from a helpful passerby. They talked about how they can't believe people stop in the middle of the night for them.

Hmm, Fran and Berry, say when they first got married he had to go off the Vietnam. I'm beginning to like these guys more, they're just a few behind J/M. Hippies already in city, follow a cabbie to where the clue box is. Place doesn't open until 8:30 though. They create a 'team order' sign-in sheet, then go off to sleep. Stupid Southerners think they're shorted money, find it behind a flap. Idiots. And bigots. Stupid husband arrogantly just says he knows how to go; Dave/Lori a bit behind, off they go. Finally Ray/Yolanda, just a bit behind them. Funny, they both sit in front, usually the camera person does. They have to get directions too, not a great sign.

Catania--frat boys show up, hippies have been hanging out sleeping. Frat boys sign in too, they throw out the sign-up list after being fooled at first. Other teams start pulling into town, Italians seem happy to drive to site and have them follow. Old couple freak out a bit, frat boys and hippies are in, frat boys find clue box a bit earlier. Now they have to count stone heads along fence, find a guy and tell him how many there are. They all count 41, running around looking for guy, frat boys slightly in first.

Detour: Big Fish or Little Fish. Either pick up 32-pound swordfish from vendor, walk 1/3rd of a mile to a market, find a vendor and give him the fish. Or they go to the market, sell four kilos of a small fish. Both good teams decide to carry the fish. Old couple still lost, have to go out of town and come back in.

Southerners upset too, hitting rush hour traffic. Same with everyone else too. J/M get to maze third. Hippies following frat boys to swordfish guys, all four get their fish and off they go. Fratties run, hippies too. No shyness about shouting out destination, locals direct them. J/M differ, but they go with her count, which is right. They're gonna carry too.

Everyone looking for fish monger in marketplace, just yelling out his name, hippies find, frat boys second slightly. Now gotta drive to another city, find a place on the wharf. Back they go to the cars, as a group, run into J/M on the way out. Old people still lost, finally find it, in fourth. Hippies/frat boys work together to find location, off fratties go. They find groundskeeper, wife keeps calling out hellow, husband is like he's not gonna answer. They decide to sell fish.

Hmm, J/M carry fish in their hands, not on shoulders. Southerners crazy frustrated in traffic. D/L lost, D refuses to ask for directions. R/Y decide to park, go look for the place on foot. People won't help them, interesting, they comment on it. Old couple try to hustle fish, nobody's paying attention to them. Monica's complaining about fish all over her. They don't know who to give fish to, Monica gets mad. Old people finally find some people to buy from them. J/M get separated, he's mad at her, she throws fish down on ground, both of them are mad, meltdown and start yelling at each other, she says it's the worst thing she's ever done.

Some helpful Italian finally directs them, he says he wants to stab someone through the head, they're not at all gracious to get the clue, still swearing. Old couple still trying to hawk wares, and they do, off they go--a lot happier than J/M, say it was fun. Monica's jealous of cute/clean Italian women. Southerners show up, yelling at pedestrians and nearly running them down. They ask some guy if 41 is correct, he says yes, they slap five--but he's just some random guy, it's hilarious.

Old people on way out of town. Southerners carry fish, wifey says her kids weighs 40 pounds, can totally carry a 35-pound fish--they have no problem finding vendor, off they go in 5th. D/L lost, get directions finally, then some guy volunteers to lead them on his moped. Black couple find someone to talk to them, find the place too. Southern husband tells his wife to shut up, then doesn't admit she's the one who saw sign to lead them out. R/Y count 41, off to carrying fish--funny, fake sign-in sheet is still there, Ray glances at it. Hope R/Y remember where they park after all this.

Ray carries fish with one hand, D/L finish counting, off they go--to carry fish too. Meanwhile fratties into next city, apparently now in first. Roadblock--gotta play some kayak polo, score once for their team. Wow, that could be totally hard for some. R/Y drive outof town--oops, apparently the wrong way, they misunderstood directions. D/L buy a map, and off they go. Whoah, a map, what a concept.

Jeremy scores, pretty easily. Hippies show up, frat boys off to pit stop, spring somewhere in town. They score pretty quickly, it seems, off they go to pit stop. They're editing it to make it seem close, but I'm pretty sure frat boys will win easily, unless there's a screw-up. Old people and M/J next, the guys play--old man doesn't know how to paddle, young guy scores. Hippies take time to slap hands with people on the way to pit stop, frat boys get there first though. Hippies dance a jig past band to pit stop. Barry having troble throwing ball that high, but does eventually.

Southerners show up, in 5th. Wife does it, husband is just screaming at her, wonderful sight with his shirt off just livid on the sidelines. He's just yelling like a crazy man after they get the clue; J/M finish, then old people into fourth, then team white trash. Now race for last between R/Y and D/L. Ray gets there first, tries throwing it in from way off, then capsizes.... Makes it, off they go in 6th, so they should be okay--then D/L show up. He makes it, pretty quickly it seems like--now it's a footrace, but I think R/Y are far enough ahead they'll be fine, just gotta make sure they don't get lost.

And they make it first--I think this may be a non-elim leg, not a heck of a lot of tricky editing to psych people out. So they move up from last. D/L speculate it may be a non-elimination round--but they're wrong, out they go. They cry, proclaim their love for each other.

Next week should be great, team white trash vs. the only non-white couple.

Photo of Dave and Lori from Amazing Race website.

Pros and the fools

They start by reviewing last week's show--most of which I didn't see due to the tape being used up taping American Idol (it was a fair tradeoff). The frat boys won, followed by hippies; mother/daughter finished last. About time for a non-elim show....

Anyway, they went from Russia to Munich, Germany. It's one of the most important business centers in Europe, they tell us; ironically a 'monument to peace' was their pit stop. Frat boys leave at 2:14 a.m., flying to Palermo, Italy, then taxi to an opera house. They say they're not overanalyzing, just competing, getting chicks. Hippies leave about an hour later, talk about how they use humor to get people to wanna help them. Then unhappy Southern couples, catch up with hippies and follow them; idiot husband says he thinks she can do better, he's still the leader of this team. Frats get booked on Air Italia, getting there 10:15, flirt with the help; then find some wheelchairs, mock-fight. Hippies just join them, no thinking for themselves--then a funny obstacle course race between the two.

Hippies book their own flights online, same as frat boys--well, actually frat boys waiting in line for Italia to open. Southerners try, no succcess--hmmm, did hippies get last tickets?! Next, Dave/Lori daters, talk about how they're falling deeply in love. Then Joseph/Monica, who I like, they're just decent people.

Frat boys can't get on first flight, fully booked; Southerners squabble, try Lufthansa, instead of doing stand-by--they book something that arrives at... 2:00? Old couple happy to get on 1:25 flight; squabble with Southerners, telling them ot stand back. Hippies are off, frat boys work it with Air Italia so they get on same flight too. Jeez, it's like the pros and the fools.

It's almost 7, Ray/Yolanda on their way to the airport just now. Chick friends last, bit after them. Show the B-teams on the second flight out already; the C-teams get lucky, only like 30 minutes behind the top guys. Connecting flights in Rome, hippies on flight one to Palermo, frat boys a bit behind.

But way ahead of other idiots. Southerners squabble, husband blames wife, starts swearing about workers. Bad karma, dude, just keeps swearing--and doesn't even know that he didn't just go from first to last. Frat boys are starting to grow on me, at least they just play the game, and with some skill. Stupid wife kisses up to Southerner husband; meanwhile R/Y and pinkies join them.

Hippies at clue box already, now gotta drive 42 miles to seaside town, look for a box on a fortress. Frat boys, then old couple and Dave/Lori, then all else. They show frat boy fixing his hair. Hippies already at detour, foundry or laundry. Either pick up a 110 lb church bell and carry it up to a church; or search 2400 pieces of laundry to find one of 16 marked clothing. Uh, duh....

And idiot hippies choose laundry, unbelievable. Don't they watch this show, you should never look for stuff when you can just do stuff. Other teams all bunching up, in race to drive to small town. Old people driving crazy, kindof funny. Dave/Lori get caught in traffic. Patient hippies searching laundry, and find the tag already, totally lucky. Ham it up, they're having fun. Next, drive 13 miles to old city, look for old amphitheater. And there's a yield ahead, they'll yield frat boys.... All in good fun.

Pinkies have trouble with stick.... Frats choose laundry too, search together dumbly. Joseph/Monica in third now, doing church bells; frat boys already find tag, my guess is they're farther back than editing shows. Beautiful countryside for hippies, hopefully they don't use yield now--they may need it more later. And they fake us out, choose not to yield! Good. Roadblock--need to piece together Greek statue, with two extra pieces.

Dating couple quibble over bell carrying speed. Guy lifts it up stairs by himself, pretty cool. Off they go to next town. Old couple can't even find cluebox, of course they're gonna do laundry. Perfect task for a confused old couple, they wonder if young kids know what a clothespin is. J/M do laundry too; old people find tag pretty quickly. R/Y doing the bell, good. Southerners find box, wife praises husband for seeing it. Pinks drive blindly, find clue box by luck, in last place but right next to Southerners. R/Y carry bell together; D/L looking for laundry; idiot Southerners go right past laundry place, pinks show up as D/L as still searching, so now 3 couples search at once. D/L getting frustrated, they've been there a while.

Southerners are amazing at sheer amount of laundry, Ray carries bell by himself too, Yolando says she's in awe. D/L find it, then Southerners, total luck. Pinks still search. R/Y looking for directions, D/L just drive, beat them by a bit. Hmm, R/Y get lost; frat boys get to yield place. Hippies still doing statue, finish, figuring two extra pieces. Then gotta run downhill to temple pit stop, one of the best-preserved buildings of ancient times they say, they mock say ooh, we better hurry; see frat boys coming up as they finish.

Frat boys work on statue, finish; J/M in 3rd, start on statue as frats finish, not happy to be second. Hmm, odd, they replay Southerners finding or something? Thought it was much earlier. Southerners speed off, hopefully they screw up; wonder if they should yield girls, wife says I'll let you decide. R/Y may be lost, oh-oh; and they are, think they lost like 30 minutes. Old people in 4th, up to statue place, J/M having some trouble with statue. Husband tells wife to relax, beautiful view. Dumb M flummoxed by extra pieces, figure it out, helps out old couple too. Southerners catch J/M, race to see who yields who; dumbly Southerners see J/M finishing, ran to pit stop by mistake, lots of swearing, old couple finish and say they can't tell them where statue place is. R/Y are still driving and it's dark... pinks show up next. Southerners swear quite a lot, some crazy editing here--apparently people are having trouble just getting up to the top, not a good sign.

Southerners yield pinks, say they're sorry... now girls gotta wait, R/Y have a shot. It's harder putting together statues in the dark. R/Y make it, finally--girls are crying; call the Southerners hicks, mock their accents. Idiot husband is yelling like an idiot. Idiot J/M take statue back apart, two extra pieces screw them. Girls say they're gonna ramp it up, finish yield--before R/Y get there. Stupid J/M team is breaking theirs up, she's like totally freaking out, trying to force things, boy what a bunchof idiots, her boyfriend isn't helping her any. Meanwhile, calm pink girl just putting it all together. Stupid girl finally just shows work, and she's done. Stupid Southerners on way down tell R/Y they can still not be eliminated if they run (almost taunting); Southern guy starts crying, finishes 5th not dead last.

Pinks vs. R/Y, race to finish statue first, then run to temple. D/L finish 6th, both totally crying, mad they were frustrated with each other; actually she comforts him. Ray taunting pinks, saying he's coming fast. Wife tells him to ask it you're done with two extra pieces; pinks not done--R/Y are done, and off they go. Now pinks, off they run--no way they'll beat them. Oh oh, R/Y can't find the temple, have to look at a map--but they get there first. They finish 7th, not even sure how teams there are.

Pinks are last--and they're eliminated, not devastated, actually pretty cool final speech, girls from New York. Ugh, talk about frat boys though, problem is the girls never thought they'd be able to beat all the guys.

Hmm, next episode looks interesting--the old team is gaining steam, Monica/Joseph flip out.

Uncredited photo of frat boy Jeremy at Teatro di Segesta via CBS.

Rushing through Russia

Let's see if the editing is any better and if I can learn some names this week. From the coffee plantation, shows the frat boys hooking up with Danielle/Dani. BJ/Tyler first off, take a ride on a zip line; frat boys next, continue their usual schtick complete with bragging, they're rapidly becoming one of the all-time jerks. Joseph/Monica next, maybe this'll be a team to root for? Dave/Lori next.

They show the first four teams driving, of course the place is closed; hippies jump out at frat boys to startle them a little, actually funny. They keep jumping out at others. Ray/Yolanda next, 30 minutes before place is scheduled to open. Wanda/Desiree, Wanda has some sort of accent. Place opens, out the first tames jog. Lake/Michelle leave next, don't like him either, he's rude. Danielle/Dani in matching outfits, childhood friends it says. And Southerner Lake gets lost, mad. At himself, the driver, right? Nope.

Hippies zip across valley, no problem--I think they'll do well, are smart and loose. Should be interesting for woman who's afraid of heights. Next, fly to Moscow (Russia they add). Then Chaika Bassein, water facility, in Moscow. Off hippies go to the bus station. Next frat boys, looking a lot more anxious and slow than fearless hippies. Show the next two pairs, nothing happens; then R/Y drive in as frat boys drive out. L/M lost by side of road, this is hilarious, then they start yelling at each other.

Finally, Fran/Barry, not that far behind actually. R/Y finish, they gotta move up to first tier on this leg. For some reason they show everyone reading 'fly to Moscow, Russia'. Top three teams all bunched, with frat boys now in 3rd somehow. 9:15 bus first out of station, J/M too on this one.

And R/Y get 10 a.m. tickets.... Lake unhappy about going to Russia for some reason. Frat boys and girls mess around some more. Southern couple bickers some more, pretty ugly words. Everyone else is on this bus, but... old people. 10:45 for them.

At the airport, let's see if strategy comes into play. Hippies go through Frankfurt, Lufthansa; peole are saying everyeone's gonna be on same flight. Sure enough, next bus pulls up... hmm, but I think some people are being quoted different times... guess not. Married couple makes it, everyone's on same flight.

On plane, some people learning some Russian. Frat boys exert their power over girls. In Russia in no time, funny watching them trying to communicate with taxi drivers. Ray really is just a redneck, he's off complaining already. Some people share cabs to save money. Girls/boys together. To pool, hippies first; Russian word for pool similar to French piscine. Roadblock: 10M plunge in frigid weather, then gotta dive to bottom to get next clue. This is gonnna be tough for some. Old couple next, than R/Y, cool. Woman says she can't swim... but she's gonna do it?! Crazy, they should've known 'who's gonna take the plunge' meant water before she said she'd do this one.

Hippies done, taxi to monastery, look for next clue there. Southern people in 4th. Then lovebirds. J/M next, then D/L. Finally, sightseeing W/D. Old man having trouble diving. Hippies go off with their fast cabbie. Old people done, still in 2nd. Hmm, Yolanda's gotta jump, gets some encouragement from Southern chick; but Southern guy not so charitable; Russians cheer her on, everyone's yelling for her; she hits water, takes a while to come up to top, gets big cheer, this is pretty cool, I like them. She's crying, but did it--apparently she can doggy paddle. Southerners, then frat boys, then chicks.

Frat boys dumbly wait for their chicks; Joseph/Monica, then Dave/Lori, then Wanda/Desiree. People get in cabs and depart, not the most exciting of footage; mother is freaking out, says she can't dive for it, totally freaking out, says she can't make herself go down--wow, just a total breakdown. They're just sitting there, don't know what to do.

Hmm, hippies at clue box already, even take time to check out gorgeous icons and interior of cathedral, these guys are cool. Detour: Scrub or Scour. Either go to a trolley depot and wash a trolley; or go to a theater and look for a clue in 1,000 nesting dolls for one of 10 clues. Uh, duh.... Old people next, about same time as R/Y; hmm, looks like chicks left their bag behind, they separate out, not sure how girls will find taxi.

Frat boys at cathedral, everyone's there at the same time, front-runners have lost a lot of time, frat boys in second now. Wow, everyone's bunched up. Southerners to scrub, frat boys say scrub, they're professional car washers. Seems like everyone's doing scrub. Ugh, R/Y going to the theater instead. Frat boys say just follow other people, not sure if their driver knwos what he's doing. Girls get cab back, daughter trying to pump up mother, crowd cheers for her, and she finally gets it. Daughter is proud her mom overcame her biggest fear. And they see girls on their way out, calls them the pinks. They recover the bag, off everyone goes.

Hippies are out in front with old people; then 2nd big group, then 3rd, then the mom/daughter and pinks. Hippies lose their cab; old people catch up, they can't find trolley cars so old people go to theater, followed by hippies. Wow, R/Y totally lucked out. Southerners chose theater too. There's even a band playing--frat boys there too, apparently nobody could find trolley depot. Pure luck at this point.

J/M and other couple driving around. W/D at cathedral, choose trolley depot, pinks show up too, their cab leaves; can't find a cab that can find it, then can't find a cab period. Poor pinks. They finally get one, after the break.

Everyone else looking in nesting dolls. Hmm, R/Y actually putting dolls back. Frat boys get one, then Southerners right behind. Neither one knows about St. Basil's cathedral. J/M and D/L still looking for trolley park--wow, mother/daughter find first, then pinks. They're looking for less filthy ones. Tough task, it's cold and they're washing trolleys slopping water all over the place. Old couple arrive at theater, R/Y still searching. It's just a matter of luck at this point. R/L find one, off they go, in 3rd at the moment.

Hippies at theater, ask R/L for help, and get it. So they join the search; J/M and D/L still searching, finally they find, ah they're in same cab. Pinks are shocked when they show up. Inspector doesn't like the job mom/daughter did, didn't get roof. Hippies find a clue, old couple incredulous--and they... give up?! Say they do.

Frat boys to Red Square, L/M next off, race is on. Southerners see, then frat boys. Oh no, the two teams I hate most--and the frat boys win. Leg not over, still gotta race--well, it's 10:57 so not a total shock.

Highlights from next leg look so un-Russia like--it's sunny, they're out doing fun things in test cars and wearing funny hats.

Photo of Yolanda from CBS (incidentally, how odd is it that the web sites includes photos that indicate results that haven't aired yet?!)

Not-so-amazing race

Favorite television night continues with the second episode of this season's Amazing Race. It's a great show--teams try to get from point A to B fastest. Has some near-fatal flaws, but also more than its share of awesome moments.

Didn't get to watch the first episode, but seems like the team I'd like the least got eliminated already. Hmm, also seems the recent trend of all white couples and one black continues. CBS needs to do a better job casting this show, it's getting ridiculous.

They're in Sao Paolo, first pit stop was the giant soccer stadium. One of the three lowest-place couples from last week will finish last this time I predict. Frat boys Eric/Jeremey, looking for sex. BJ/Tyler, saying they've oddly bonded with EJ. Wanda/Desire next, mom/daughter, she speaks spanish. Dating Dave/Lori, potential to be annoying. EJ check out the prostitutes on the way, I dislike them already. Somehow WD get there first?!

Place doesn't open until 8 pm, so no advantage for first people. Michelle/ , married couple. Dating Joseph/Monica in sixth, she seems cool. Lake/Michelle, Ray/Yolanda, black couple, Fran/Barry, married old couple, seem like hippies. Then Danielle/Dani, hoping to use their feminity to win, unlike the frat boys, who just wanna have sex. Final Lisa/Joni, Southern older friends.

Lots of yelling for cabs in this first section, everyone seems to have made it before the place opens. Then it's a mad dash up the stairs, DJ gets to box first, roadblock is called fire drill. Whoah, gotta go to the top of a tall building, Edificio Copn, by running up crazy white twisty fire escape stairways, then rapell down using a fire harness. Interesting architecture. Pointless sequence showing who's doing it for each team, too fast to follow. Desiree runs to the staircase first, then Jerry, than Ray, there are three staircases to choose from.

Some guys are already walking, it's a pretty tall building. God, frat boys are so stupid with constant sex yammering. Pretty much everybody's walking. Jeremy is already rappelling down, problem is you gotta wait for the guy ahead of you, so strategy of going to other roof points is a good one.

Jeremy wins, off they go to the bus station, gotta take a charter--one of 3, an hour apart--to Brotas, Brazil, 150 miles away, then take a VW Bug to get the next clues. J/M next off, then BJ/T. Somehow frat boys get into second cab. People are still walking up, unbelivable. Ray is really slow coming down.

L/M next, then R/Y in 5th. L/M get on the bus to the bus stop, instead of taking a cab. Interesting. W/D in 5th, show various teams getting into cabs. Freakout for Danielle, another competitor soothes her. Wow, she said she's petrified of heights, but is just going down like crazy; at end she says she can conqueor anything. Next to last is Southern couple, old people are last.

BJ/T get to terminal, then other teams; wow, they're all scrambled out of order; they show quickly first three on first bus, then Ray next. Ugh, one team went to the wrong bus station. Mom/kid make up some time, on second bus too. D/D on third. Frat boy flirts with D/D, actually too crass to be called flirting. God, the editing is like impossible to follow, too fast, we're still trying to figure out who all these people are. It wasn't like this in past years.

Show them choosing VW Bugs based on--color. Detour: press it or climb it. Either you process raw sugar cane into juice, distill it, then create ethanol, and pour into car before driving to the next place. Or they drive somewhere else, hike to a waterfall, and both climb up it. Everyobdy's like climb it. Frat boys just following people and making comments about the chicks. Hippies get there first, then J/M, then boys. It's a beautiful location. Hippy number one at top already, Monica not far behind, frat boys just starting.

Bus 2 pulls up, some are pressing it. BJ/T already done, next is Primaver da serra, the pit stop for this leg--wow, it's only 10:30, some teams must really screw up. Frat boys having some trouble with rope, Joseph passes first frat boy Eric, so they're done already. Hippies yell hippy power, are outof there first.

D/L, R/Y, W/D in next group on way to detours. Final bus pulls up, last few having trouble with just driving car, Southern friends freak out, start fighting and swearing.

You know, if everybody wasn't white, and there weren't so many couples, it'd be easier to follow, not to mention more interesting and true to life. As it is, you just stick teams with a quick label, and go from there. Funny when they refer to themselves with the same label you've assigned them.

Back from break, to freakout friends. Hippies meanwhile are asking for directions, Joseph/Monica too. Frat boys--cruising. They wind up running into hippies, off they go as a pack following some random truck, guess which teams in back. J/M get help from someone with a map, off on their own way.

Next, the sugar cane pressing... which seems to be going fast, at least the pressing part. Black couple makes it to waterfall. Mom/kid missed a turnoff, but catch it on way back. Dave/Lori are still pressing cane. Then they distill it. Mother/kid show up. Yolanda is coming up waterfall, as they show distilling drop by drop. Interesting to see if D/L's car performance is enhanced by ethanol. R/Y on way to pit stop too. Mom/kid distill. Old couple going for physical task. They show Lake/Michelle--married parents--on their way somewhere, then D/D and stupid bitter Southern women.

Hippies and frat boys still following pickup. Then they make different decisions, frat boys stop at gas station, hippies keep following truck. And they get there first. They win a trip to Tahiti, and freak out. Frat boys second, not happy, talk smack. Joseph and Monica show up, oddly late, they celebrate. 10:41, rest of program will be mistake-filled.

Old couple struggling up waterfall, then married parents. Old woman gets stuck, not getting it she says, just hangs there. Good metaphor for them, they seem to be more than fulfilling the usual grating-voiced not-getting-it slow all around elderly folks role.

Back from break to old woman learning from other woman and moving much better, she makes it, totally exhausted. Meanwhile, Dave/Lori make it fourth, are excited to be in that position. Ray/Yolanda fifth, not happy to be there but better. Wanda/Desiree worry they may be last, so sixth makes them ecstatic. Hmm, she's very pretty.

Barry still climbing after Fran makes it; passed by Danielle who just showed up, but he finishes before second woman starts. Crazy Southern women can't even drive, stall out on road. Doing the sugar cane. Dani climbing waterfall, they're gonna pretend the race to pit stop is close. Southern sisters finish, everyone's going off.

Lake/Michelle still driving around somewhere, she points out it's Portuguese they can't speak not Spanish. Old couple's car dies. L/M asking directions, follow some guy on a motrbike. D/D come up behind old couple, are happy but conflicted, it's a dead battery for old people; they give up, say they're eliminated.

Meanwhile Southern sisters are now driving, no gas for motorbike leading way for L/M, Lake is getting upset. F/B get new car, replacment car shows up, they decide it's not quite over yet. Danielle/Dani friends get to check point, L/M right behind them. Both teams talk about hauling you know what at end, start running; Lake takes off without wife, just yells at her--and they get there first, somehow, in 7th and they celebrate. D/D happy being 8th.

It's night, married couple stil driving, as are sisters, so odd and stupid. And--it's the old people, not eliminated, in 9th place, so happy. Hmm, old people last time had something happen similar to this. Sisters are glum, one starts crying, then sobs after finding that's it. Joanie has a good attitude, she needed a better partner.

So far haven't found a really likeable team, not yet rooting for anyone. Frat boys unfortunately I think will do well, hopefully hippies, J/M and black couple can stay up there too. I think I like Wanda/Desiree best so far, but that's not saying much.

Doubt it'll be as good as Amber/Rob year, where the last four teams were all interesting in different ways. Next week is Russia, country should be interesting although highlights aren't that compelling.

Photo of Edificio Copan from CBS.

Pat the jackal

Imagine if Marion Gordon 'Pat' Robertson were Muslim.

Mullah Robertson--host of a TV show watched daily by a million Muslims, founder of major Muslim organizations, sought out regularly for comment by newspapers and broadcasters, a visible and prominent pillar of the Muslim community.

What would the reaction of the country be if Mullah Robertson said Ariel Sharon's massive stroke was punishment from God?

If Mullah Robertson warned the citizens of a small town that God may forsake them and hit the with a disaster after they decided not to proselytize for Islam in public schools.

If Mullah Robertson called for the assassination of the leader of a country to our south?

I wonder if Pat thanks God ever day for being born white and Christian.

I personally don't care too much about Pat; like his peer Pat Buchanan (what's Pat Sajak like? Pat Benatar?) he serves as a canary in a mine--his open words reveal what his followers and bedfellows try to keep hidden.

But I wonder about people like Daniel Ayalon, Israel's ambassador to the U.S., who called Robertson "a great friend of Israel".

Are you kidding? Robertson's a friend of Israel the same way a farmer's a friend of his slowly-fattening hog.

Pat, like many evangelicals, believes in order for the Rapture to come, Israel must be united--he sees Israel's entire existence as merely a stepping stone to what really matters... and once the Rapture comes, of course, Israelis as well as the rest of the non-evangelical world will be wiped out as God separates the wheat from the chaff and brings his chosen people home.

So I guess if you think a friend is someone who values you as a stepping stone to their eternal life, yeah, Pat Robertson is a friend of Israel (and all Americans).

Photo of Pat Robertson in Jerusalem by Brennan Linsley for the AP, via mentalblog.com.

There's an interesting Slate article, Supersede Me: Evangelicals rethink how to convert Jews that discusses Robertson, evangelicals and Jews that includes these lines:

The shift away from supersessionism is best articulated in the influential 2001 essay "Salvation Is From the Jews" (a quotation from John 4:22), by Richard John Neuhaus, the Catholic priest who edits the journal First Things. Neuhaus argued that American Christians needed to relate to Jews in a new spirit not of proselytism but of mutual edification. Jews in America aren't just potential Christians, he argued. They are unique conversation partners with insights that may help Christians better understand their own faith. "The salvation that is from the Jews cannot be proclaimed or lived apart from the Jews," Neuhaus writes. And elsewhere: "[W]e can and must say that friendship between Jew and Christian can be secured in shared love for the God of Israel." In other words, the continuing existence of Jews is not a failure of evangelism.

But Neuhaus does not mean that Christians should give up on converting Jews. Evangelicals are evangelicals, after all, not Unitarians. Rather, Neuhaus writes, "[W]e can and must say that we reject proselytizing, which is best defined as evangelizing in a way that demeans the other." ...

Most traditional evangelicals would agree with the Jewish literary critic Stanley Fish, who has argued that evangelicals are obligated, if they're intellectually honest, to proclaim frankly that theirs is the universal truth. Any hemming and hawing is just caving in to liberal sensibilities."