Vancouver Olympics closing ceremony: Oh, Canada!

Vancouver Olympics close, with a pretend 'glitch' to the fourth torch leg, echoing what really happened opening night. Clown pretends to fix, then Katrina de Madone, who was really left without a leg on opening night, lights the full cauldron. Cool; nicely done.

With a record 15 golds, including in hockey over the U.S. today in OT, Canada is in a partying mood tonight. We wound up with a record 37 total medals, so not too shabby, either. Some weird thing with a bunch of teens up on stage jumping up and down to a band, with snowboards in hand. Hmmm, from up top when they bounce the boards against the floor looks kindof interesting, form a pattern around the flame.

They introduce the four Indian chiefs whose territories comprise Vancouver, then the PM and IOC head. Then the kids do a poppy version of "Oh Canada." Hmmm, not sure about that, one of the Mounties just looks stone-faced.

Flagbearers all walk in, spotlight the Chilean flag. Nordic combined competitor Bill Demong carries U.S.'s, and now the athletes all come running in together, Bob tells us they'll mingle more as the evening goes on.

Canadians come out last, to huge applause. Joannie Rochette, the figure skater whose mom died carries Canada's flag. Everyone wants to get their photo taken with her. Not sure how Russia is ever going to live up to these games, they wound up just about perfect. "Thank you, Canada" reads a sign in the stands.

They hold first of two medal ceremonies tonight; Norwegian Petter Northug won the 50K cross-country race by .3 seconds, salvaging what's been a pretty bad Olympics for Norway's legendary cross-country team. German took silver,
Swede took bronze. Norway won 22 medals, just behind Canada.

Olympic flag gets passed to the mayor of Sochi, Russia. Very stolid-looking man; good luck. The impressive, primal Russian anthem is sung by a choral group from Russia. It goes on forever, this is the full version. Wow, looking forward to four years from now.

They show the Sochi presentation, all CGI and attractive models, scattershot. Like a kid's idea of what would impress people; no meat or theme to it. In-person performance is random people in bubbles, Red Square, orchestra. Ballet dancers come out; all bombastic and impersonal.
I guess they haven't had the Olympics since the 1980 games that we boycotted after they invaded Afghanistan. It's literally a different world now; maybe not for the Afghanis so much....

Canadian official says good-bye, he again tells the people of Georgia how sorry they are for their loss, it's heartfelt and leads to a standing ovation. It's a very good speech, what seemed stiff at the opening now seems appropriately formal here. Bob Costas does a running translation of Jacques Rogges' address. He calls it "excellent and very friendly games." Closes the games, to a big groan.

And then out on the floor comes Neil Young, "Long May You Run." Song's lyrics fit well. Flame is extinguished, all is blue.

Back to all-yellow, 'birds' flocking about. Now famous Canadians will tell us what it means to them to be Canadians, cause now that the torch has been passed we care. William Shattner talks of lakes, sunsets, Montreal, etc. Catherine O'Hara, some comedian I guess, comes out with a curling spoof. It's like they're using the global audience to work out some issues. All the foreign athletes are just sitting there. Ugh, her routine just gets worse, jokes about the Swiss fans, litter, saying sorry.

Michael J. Fox comes up to huuuuge applause and a standing ovation. Yeah, he can say pretty much anything. "Canada is my home, and now it's your home too."

Michael Buble comes out dressed as a Mountie, sings with some fake Mounties in skirts as backup, then strips to his white tux. This is such a parochial, low-rent production. All-white, too.

'Made in Canada' parade kicks off with more Mounties. Yeah, if I'm an overseas investor I'm just rubbing my hands. Fake hockey players fake brawl, then some kid dressed as a puck comes out. Out come maple leafs; man, if the Russians had presented this as their tribute to Canada, there'd have been a riot. Out come giant inflatable beavers and moose, led by lumberjacks. It's like a country stuck in 1950.

There's a flash at the end, people applaud, and NBC fades to black. They'd run a promo for the summer games if they're smart, but don't.