Going to the dogs (and snakes)

What the heck is Chris Duncan of the AP thinking?

Rockets agree to send pick, Greene, Jackson to Kings for Artest: NBA front-office sources confirmed to ESPN.com that Ron Artest will be dealt to the Rockets in exchange for Houston's first-round draft pick in 2009, ex-King Bobby Jackson (who arrives with a $6.1 million expiring contract) and the draft rights to Donte Greene.

After wavering for more than two months, Artest elected not to opt out of the final year of his contract for $7.4 million by July 1. But the forward immediately announced he regretted his decision, saying the Kings had misled him on their interest in a long-term contract extension. Artest also said he couldn't see himself playing in Sacramento beyond next season.

Artest apologized to the Kings a few days later but one week after that, Artest demanded a trade, claiming he had been blinded to his career well-being by his friendship with the Maloof family, which owns the Kings.

Joe Maloof responded sharply to Artest, warning the forward to muzzle himself.

Yeah, by all means, let's equate black athletes with dogs whenever possible.

Then again, this is the organization that on at least two occasions has made the same ridiculous spell-check-related mistake:

Gore told the AP he hoped the speech would contribute to "a new
political environment in this country that will allow the next
president to do what I think the next president is going to think is
the right thing to do." He said both fellow Democrat Barrack Abeam and
Republican rival John moccasin are "way ahead" of most politicians in
the fight against global climate change.

Waiting for a Messiah

If the views of the outgoing Israeli ambassador to the United Nations, Dan Gillerman, as expressed to the Times' Deborah Solomon are any indication, it's going to take a looooong time to achieve peace in the Middle East.

You recently called Jimmy Carter a “bigot” after he met with Khaled Meshal, the head of Hamas. Is it true you were reprimanded by the U.S. State Department?
--There was no complaint or reprimand. The only reaction I received was very positive.

The Bush administration, it seems, has not done much to advance the Mideast peace process. Would you agree?
--I think the key is in the Arab world. The Palestinians’ real tragedy is that they have not been able to produce a Nelson Mandela. Every single day, Muslims are killed by Muslims. You do not see a single Muslim leader get up and say, “Enough is enough.” It’s nearly as if we live in a world where if Christians kill Muslims, it’s a crusade. If Jews kill Muslims, it’s a massacre. And when Muslims kill Muslims, it’s the Weather Channel. Nobody cares.

Is he nuts? Yeah, calling a former American president a bigot brought him nothing by accolades--there's nothing like having a deaf and dumb person as your face to the world.

And sure, if there was a Palestinian Mandela, things would go much easier--but politics is the art of dealing with reality, not sitting around on your hands waiting for a saviour.

Besides which, the closest Israel's come to producing a Mandela was Yitzhak Rabin, whose policies were fought tooth-and-nail by a big chunk of the Israeli populace before he was assassinated by a countryman.

New Yorker's Obama moment

Lee Siegel gets it right in the Times with his take on why the New Yorker Obamas cartoon was a dumb idea (and why those idiot liberals who are joining the conservative backlash against the criticism don't get it):

The problem is that the cartoon accurately portrays a ridiculous real-life caricature that exists as literal fact in the minds of some people, and it portrays it in terms that are absolutely true to that caricature. An analogous instance would have been a cartoon without commentary appearing in a liberal Northern newspaper in the 1920s — a time when Southern violence against blacks was unabated — that showed a black man raping a white woman while eating a watermelon. The effect of accurately reproducing such a ridiculous image that dwelled unridiculously in the minds of some people would have been merely to broaden its vicious reach. The adherents of that image would have gone unsatirized and untouched.

In satire, absurdity achieves its rationality through moral perspective — or it remains simply incoherent or malign absurdity. The New Yorker represented the right-wing caricature of the Obamas while making the fatal error of not also caricaturing the right wing. It is as though Daumier had drawn figures besotted by stupidity and disfigured by genetic deficiencies — what might have been a corrupt 19th-century politician’s image of his victims — rather than the corrupt politicians themselves, whom he of course portrayed as swollen to ridiculous physical proportions by mendacity and greed.

But if that very same New Yorker cover had been drawn in a balloon over the head of a deranged citizen — or a ruthless political operative — it would have appeared as plausible only in the mind of that person. The image would have come across as absurd and unjust — a version of reality exaggerated to the point of madness.

By presenting a mad or contemptible partisan sentiment as a mainstream one, by accurately reproducing it and by neglecting to position the target of a slur — the Obamas — in relation to the producers of the slur, The New Yorker seems to have unwittingly reiterated the misconception it meant to lampoon. No wonder so much political humor nowadays contents itself with the smug deriding of the worst aspects of the “other side.” At a time when it is almost impossible to attach a universal meaning to anything, the crossroads linking satire to its target can be very hard to find.

Si at the center of the storm

There's an interesting profile of Condé Nast's Si Newhouse by Richard Perez-Pena in the Times that reminds you at its best journalism is all about giving you entree into worlds and people you otherwise would not encounter, to your loss.

Mr. Newhouse goes to work daily in chinos and an old sweatshirt — a small, quiet grandfather, a man of plain looks, heading an empire that revolves around images of beauty and youth. Anna Wintour, editor in chief of Vogue, refers, laughingly, to “his unique sense of style.” ...

“He runs his business more like an old-fashioned proprietor, according to his interests, his tastes, like Henry Luce or Hearst did,” says Reed Phillips III, managing partner of DeSilva+Phillips, an investment banking boutique.

When asked what motivates Mr. Newhouse, people who know him rarely mention power or money. They talk about his devotion to his work, his penchant for arriving at the office before dawn, his intense interest in design details and his curiosity about Hollywood, politics and art.

In discussing people or things, “Si uses the word ‘attractive’ the way other people might use the word ‘spiritual,’ ” says a former senior executive who requested anonymity because he didn’t want Mr. Newhouse to consider him disloyal. “It means to him a sort of roundedness and depth.” ...

His greatest passion is movies — the only topic besides his magazines, his colleagues say, that can make him almost chatty. He recently sent a DVD of the film noir classic “D.O.A.” to some of his editors, eager to discuss it afterward. Graydon Carter, editor in chief of Vanity Fair, says his annual Hollywood issue was the chairman’s idea.

Mr. Newhouse follows politics but, unlike so many media moguls, has no interest in having a political voice. In fact, people who have worked closely with him for years say they have no real idea what his political views are.

He is so shy that several years ago, when the company opened its Frank Gehry-designed cafeteria, a chic forest of undulating glass and titanium panels, he initially wandered about with his lunch tray, reluctant to impose on other diners — or, some employees speculated, he was just unwilling to endure small talk. After a while, it was decided that the table to the right of the registers would henceforth be his.

Idiot abroad

Why is it in a city that's 60% immigrant or the children of immigrants, the Times' standard for what's non-standard continues to be that of some stodgy white person?

As always, the Sunday Travel section provides the fodder, with the always-reliable Matt Gross reprising his role of wide-eyed whitey abroad, this week in South Korea with an article headline The Weird, Wild and, Ultimately, Sublime (note to the Times: Labeling a nation's cuisine 'ultimately sublime' doesn't balance out calling it weird and wild:

To understand where these trends were coming from — and, I hoped, to discover the next ones — I spent a week eating the weird and the wild, the tasty and the comforting, and, more than once, the sublime. Oh, I also ate lots and lots of kimchi. ...

Let’s begin with the familiar: barbecue.

Oh, thanks for letting us know right away what you consider normal.

Then, there's this:

“To be honest with you, Koreans just think that if it’s an expensive bottle, then it’s good — ’cause they take a bottle and they drink it like a shot!” said Daniel Gray, who operates the SeoulEats.com food blog and who accompanied me through many meals. “But it’s starting to get more refined. Now they’re starting to learn the difference. They’re starting to say, ‘O.K., I’m going to enjoy this bottle, I’m going to pair this with the right food.’ ”

That's another consistent Timesian, to go to a foreign country and use an American as a guide. Cause it's too hard to actually talk to the natives, and it's so much better to get information third-hand!

Imagine a French paper coming to the U.S. and seeking out a French expat to guide them through Southern BBQ--how much credibility would we give to that?

Indeed, as in a lot of other Times travel articles, Gross seems to manage to interact entirely with Americans during his visit to Seoul--not one person quoted or mentioned in the piece is Korean.

Talk about weird.

Out of step

What is it with the Times--along with Chris Matthews, they consistently don't seem to believe something is 'mainstream' unless it's white.

The latest example is the insistence in a photo caption that a white guy singing Mexican music is going to be its basketball Jesus.

Born in the U.S.A. but at home south of the border, Shawn Kiehne, a k a El Gringo, is out to bring Mexican music into the American mainstream.

The musician himself seems interesting, but really, the article is just tone deaf--for one thing, there's no evidence this guy's music is drawing in whites:

“There are Mexicans everywhere now,” he said. “I’m playing in Iowa, Arkansas, Kansas City, Minneapolis and Kentucky. In these places, deep in Middle America, the shows are packed, and it’s all Mexicans. Davenport, Iowa? There are Mexicans in Davenport, Iowa?”

For someone who proclaims how in touch he is with his Mexican brothers, it's embarassing that he doesn't seem to know there are Mexicans in Iowa--anyone who knows anything about the immigration debate knows Iowa's been a hotspot, with its rapid demographic change feeding both xenophobia and a more interesting cultural climate.

And Kiehne ends the article by overtly conflating white and mainstream:

“Ricky Martin helped make it O.K. for white Americans of my generation to like Latin music,” he said. “I want to do the same thing for norteño. I want it to appeal to mainstream white America while staying true to the Mexican sound.”

Game of inches

ESPN.com has up some anecdotes from days gone by of funny things that happened at Dallas Cowboy training camp; there's one that illustrates what excellence really is.

On his first day as the Cowboys' receivers coach, the meticulous Raymond Berry demonstrated how to run a sideline route to rookies. Berry made his usual precise numbers of steps, cut toward the sideline and landed -- 1 foot out of bounds.

"The field is too narrow, Tom," he announced to Coach Landry.

"No, Raymond," Landry said, "we've been out here forever."

This was the sixth year the Cowboys had practiced on the same field without complaint, yet Berry instinctively found it out of line.

"Either the hashmarks aren't right or the field is too narrow," the former Baltimore Colts star receiver insisted. Landry shrugged, called for a tape measure, and field dimensions were plotted to the exact inch.

Berry's sense of precision was validated. The field was 11 inches too narrow.

My food list

Places to try....

UWS
-Patisserie Margot , 2109 Broadway on 74th St, apple turnovers
-Soutine, 104 West 70th St, btw Columbus/Amsterdam Aves, blueberry scone

UES
-Yura & Company, 1650 Third Ave near 92nd St, pies
-Two Little Red Hens , 1652 2nd Ave at 85th St, pies
-Land NorthEast Thai, 1565 Second Ave btw 81st and 82nd St
-Teodora, 141 E. 57th St at Lexington, tuna salad, Italian

Midtown
-Bouchon Bakery, Time Warner Center, jelly donuts
-Five Guys Burgers, 43 West 55th Street, 5th/6th Ave
-Goodburger,Lexington at 54th St
-Gyro cart, 53rd St and Sixth Ave
-Fukumatsu,
212 E 52nd St, 3rd Ave and 2nd Ave, ramen
-Norwegian Seamen's Church, 317 East 52nd St. at 1st/2nd Ave, buffet Wednesday
-Hummus Kitchen, falafel, fresh lemonade, 768 Ninth Avenue (51st Street)
-Kyotofu, 705 Ninth Ave near 48th St, dessert
-Pearl on the Sushi, 695 Ninth Ave at 48th Street, lobster sushi
-Taam Tov, 41 West 47th St at 5th/6th Ave, 3rd floor, central asian
-Becco, 355 W. 46th St between 8th/9th Ave, all-you-can-eat 3 pastas
-Lattanzi, 361 46th St between 8th/9th Ave, Italian-Jewish
-Akdeniz, 19 W. 46th near 5th Ave, Turkish
-Sukhadia's, 17 West 45th St between 5th and 6th Ave, Gujarat
-Sakegura, 211 East 43rd Street, udon and small dishes
-Ceriello's, Grand Central Terminal, good butcher
-Darna, 633 Second Ave, 34th/35th Streets, moroccan
-Dae Dong, 17 West 32nd, Hamhung naeng myun noodles
-Kang Suh, 1250 Broadway at 32nd St, Hamhung naeng myun noodles
-Goodburger,2nd Ave at 43rd St
-Bon Chon Chicken, 314 Fifth Ave at 32nd St, 2nd floor, Korean fried chicken
-Pizza Suprema, 413 Eighth Avenue at 31st Street

Chelsea
-Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company, 286 Eighth Ave bt 24/25th St, sandwiches
-BBQ Chicken, Korean fried chicken, 232 Seventh Ave, 23rd and 24th Streets
-patisserie des ambassades, senegalese, 161 West 22nd St, lamb, stews
-Havana-Chelsea Luncheonette, 190 Eighth Ave at 20th St, Cuban sandwich
-Swich, 104 8th Ave at 15th St, Trojan Horse and tuna sandwich

Grammercy
-Baoguette, 61 Lexington between 25th/26th, vietnameese sandwiches, catfish sandwich
-Johnny's, egg sandwich, 124 West 25th and 6th and 7th Ave
-Bgr, 287 Seventh Ave near 26th street, burgers
-Great Burrito, 100 West 23rd Street at 6th Ave, carnitas taco, huarache

West Village
-Pardo's, 92 Seventh Ave at Grove St, rotisserie chicken
-Patisserie Claude , 187 West 4th St between Sixth and Seventh Aves, apple turnovers
-Duane Park Patisserie, 179 Duane St between Hudson and Greenwich Streets, apple turnovers (by 10 a.m.)
-Little Owl, 90 Bedford St at Grove St, Mediterranean
-BarFry, seafood po-boys, tomato salad, wasabi pickles, 50 Carmine Street at Bedford Street
-Market Table, hamburger and hoagie, 54 Carmine Street at Bedford
-Hakata Tonton, pig's feet, 61 Grove Street/Bleecker Street
-Perry Street, warm molten chocolate cake, 176 Perry Street at West street

East Village
-Molly's Pub, 287 3rd Ave between 22nd 23rd, onion rings
-Rosa Mexicano, 9 East 18th St at 5th Ave
-Boqueria, 53 W. 19th St off Sixth Ave, tapas
-Tebaya, 144 W 19th St off 7th Ave, japanese wings
-La Nacional,
239 West 14th St, Seventh and Eighth Ave, paella
-Momofuku Ssam Bar, 207 Second Ave and 13th St, Berkshire pork rice bowl; pickles; country hams, grilled rice cakes
-BLT Burger, 460 Sixth Ave and 12th St
-Philly Slim's Cheesesteak, 106 University Pl near 12th St
-Tokyo La Men, 90 University Place
-Stand, 24 East 12th St between University/5th Ave, burgers
-Westville East, 173 Ave A at 11th St, americana
-Sundaes and Cones, 95 E 10th St near 3rd Ave, asian ice cream
-Persimmon, 277 E 10th St, korean, raw fluke
-Dieci, 228 E 10th St, 1st/2nd Ave, japanese-owned italian
-Max Brenner chocolate, 141 2nd Ave at 9th St
-Spoon's Asian tapas, Malaysian, sweet potato pudding,141 First Ave between St. Marks Pl and 9th St
-Soba Koh, 309 E 5th
-Prune, egg/cheese/bacon sandwich at lunch, 54 E. 1st St between First and Second Ave

Alphabet City
-Barbone, 186 Avenue B between 11th and 12th, pasta--fettuccine with lamb
-Bodeguita Cubana, Cuban, 271 E. 10th Street between 1st/Ave A
-Snack Dragon, tacos, 199 E. 3rd St between Ave A & B

LESish
-Balthazar ,80 Spring Street between Broadway and Crosby Streets, apple turnovers
-Bondi Road, 153 Rivington St near Suffolk St, Aussie-style fish-and-chips shop
-BroomeDoggs, 250 Broome St at Orchard St, black angus dog
-Cronkite Pizzeria & Wine Bar, 133 Norfolk Street at Rivington
-Centovini, 25 W. Houston St at Greene St, Italian, polenta, across from Angelika
-Dash Dogs, 127 Rivington St near Norfolk St, stoned dogs
-La Conquita, 236 Lafayette St near Spring St, Rice and beans with pork, barbecued chicken or goat stew
-Barbouche, 92 Prince St near Mercer, French-Moroccan
-Kampuchea Noodle Bar, 78-84 Rivington St near Allen

Chinatown
-Wah Mei Pork Chop Fast Food, 190 Hester Street and Hua Ji Pork Chop Fast Food, 7 Allen Street, taiwanese
-Jobees, 3 Howard between Centre/Lafayette, Taiwanese
-New Malaysia, 46-48 Bowery, oyster pancake, Hainanese chicken rice
-Saigon Vietnamese Sandwich, 369 Broome Street
-Vanessa's Dumpling House, 118 Eldridge St btw Grand/Broome, fried pork and chive
-Fu Zhou Cuisine, dumplings, 15 Eldridge Street
-Hong Kong Station, noodles, 45 Bayard off Elizabeth
-Bánh Mì Saigon BakeryVietnamese sandwiches, 138-01 Mott off Grand St
-Grand Italian Food Center, create-your-own sandwiches, 'new yorker', 186 Grand at Mulberry
-Il Palazzo, pappardelle alla casalinga, 138 Mulberry off Hester
-Sheng Wang, 27 Eldridge St, hand-pulled noodles
-Papatzul, 55 Grand Street, at West Broadway, Aztec, Strong Buzz 12/25
-Bahn Mi Sau Voi Cafe, 101-105 Lafayette St between White/Walker, vietnamese sandwiches

Tribeca/NoLita
-American Diner, Mulberry between Price and Spring
-Tribeca Treats, 94 Reade St at Church, cupcakes
-Bon Chon Chicken, 98 Chambers St at Church, Korean fried chicken

Brooklyn
-Yun Nan Flavour Snack, 775A 49th Street pork and beef noodle soup
-Lunetta, 116 Smith St near Pacific, Boerum Hill, italian
-Sparky's, egg breakfast sandwich, 135A N. 5th St at Bedford, Williamsburg
-Two Little Red Hens , 1112 8th Ave at 11th St, Park Slope, pies
-Baked, mini caramel apples, 359 Van Brunt Street at Wolcott Street, Red Hook
-Lucali's, sausage, mushroom pizza, 575 Henry Street, Carroll Gardens

Queens
-Sheng Jian Muslim Little Kitchen, halal, 41-40 Main St. (41st Rd.-Sanford Ave., inside "Oriental Express Food"), Flushing
-Cedars Meat House, 41-08 30th Ave., Astoria, eggplant sandwich
-Renee's Kitchenette, 6914 Roosevelt Ave nr. 69th Street, Woodside, Filipino sausage
-Dhaka Kabob, 37-11 73rd Street, Jackson Heights, goat curry, cardamom/beef rice
-Spicy and Tasty, 39-07 Prince St and 39th Ave, Flushing, taiwanese
-Arzu, 101-05 67th Road, Rego Park
-Waterfront International Enterprises, 40-09 Prince St at Roosevelt Ave, Flushing, northeast chinese
-Unidentified Flying Chickens, 71-22 Roosevelt Ave at 71st St, Korean fried chicken
-Zabb Queens, 71-28 Roosevelt Ave, Jackson Heights, Isaan Thai
-Pollo Campero, 103-16 Roosevelt Ave, Corona, Guatamalan chicken

Misc
-Hand-pulled noodle places
-Caribbean restaurants in Brooklyn
-Flushing Golden Shopping Mall and Beijing in Flushing
-All the pizza spots in one post
-Top 10 ice cream sandwiches
-Apple Turnovers
-Southern Food
-Tacos to go
-Jjajangmyun in Queens

NJ
-White Manna, Jersey City, burgers

Sources
-Amateur Gourmet
-amNewYork
-Eating in Translation
-Ed Levine
-Food in Mouth
-Gothamist Food
-Grub Street
-A Hamburger Today
-New York Post
-New York Times
-Slice
-Strong Buzz
-Time Out New York
-Village Voice
-Wandering Eater