Searching for heart in Texas

American Idol's in San Antonio; last stop to be televised in its audition round. I've only been to SA once; thought it was surprisingly pleasant, even if there didn't seem to be much there beyond the Riverwalk. 11,000 showed, Ryan says.

Up first an idiot, who I guess will be loud and tone deaf. He says he won a 'mock' American Idol competition; well, he sings in a mock voice--bad version of Rebel Yell. Lots of confidence, no voice though. He agrees with Paula that he's like a machine. Not a jerk, just in his own reality.

Then, someone good I think. Earnest chick; reminds me a bit of McPhee by her behavior. Odd v-shaped back black outfit. Haley Scarnato; and she has a good voice, pretty powerful, but also controlled, not just loud--maybe a bit generic. Sings convincingly, not just performing. Paula likes her, Randy says it was okay, Simon says a bit cabaret; nothing so unique. They give her a shot, why not.

Back with a woman who I would've thought was good, except the promo showed her posse all swearing and stuff. Oh, also when Paula asks her to talk about herself, she's got nuttin to say, a bit nervous. Voice is just out of tune; means well, though. Back song choice as well. Randy's laughing at her, which I don't think is deserved; she's obviously nervous, not a bad person. She tells them you all are being rude, which I agree with. Then on the way goes after Randy, asks what he does, says she's never heard of him until American Idol. Simon makes a joke afterwards, yes or no--true, they never said that. She's in tears afterwards, talking about how rude they are. She's right, even if she's kindof jerky about it; oddly, Ryan juts in, those are my friends--two of them.

Next, some blondie, Baylie Brown, who from the promo seems to be good; a country girl. But it turns out she's kindof a prissy girl, even if she's from the country. Ugh, I don't like her; all done up and willing to put down her people. She can sing; does a Faith Hill song, good choice for her. Just belts it out; good confidence. But really, I don't like her. Simon says you were kindof born to be a pop star, likes her looks and personality; commercial with a capital C, funnily enough she gets it, asks him if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Paula likes her style; they put her through. Makes sense to me, but I still don't like her.

They do a feature on the judging room doors (again), with clips of people using the wrong one to get out. If this show starts slipping it'll be because of things like this--it'll become so self-referential, so arrogant that they'll think people will pretty much watch anything they air cause it's Idol (like Seinfeld in its later years). Some of the scenes are actually funny, they show people who apparently have enough talent to get yellow tickets, but not enough to get through the doors.

Two cousins, with totally different looks. 'Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk' they say. Both unemployed, no other source of income.... Uh, okay. Hulk has a deep, but fake and totally tone deaf voice; Randy's just cracking up during his Amazing Grace. I feel bad for him, actually; very sincere, just bad. The judges aren't mean; he tells them on his way out he's gotta talk some trash to them, just for the cameras, and he does, it's hilarious.

His cousin comes in, all riled up. He might be good... Akron Watson; yo, he can sing! I like his tone, his pace, his sincerity. Wow, what a good story. Simon says you have no charisma whatsoever. He says he doesn't want Simon to be bored; does a more passionate song, I like this guy quite a lot. And he makes it! He's so happy--this is great; and his cousin is totally jazzed for him too, as is his whole family. Now just don't screw this up--someone with nothing else going for him but this, hope he doesn't lose out to people who can be calm, cool and smarter about things cause they're not as desperate.

Show some really bad people; including one chick who overly enunciates Vogue. Some spacey chick, just horrible, does that thing with putting one hand up against an ear that I've never seen a good singer do. Simon says he couldn't understand a single word, asks if that was serious; she starts crying, you feel bad for her but again, why is she so emotionally connected to her delusion.... Ironically, you can't understand a thing she says when she cries either.

Ashlyn Carr, who I think will be good, she has an earnestness and big smile. And she's good--wow, I can imagine her in top 12. Has the same kind of control and classic blues voice as Paris. Enunciates, powerful. Simon doesn't like her facial expressions or phrasings; Randy's a bit confused; Paula says you need to watch yourself perform, with your weird faces. True, I guess--a bit like Nadia too. Randy says no, not quite ready; Paula has a tough time, winds up saying you're a very rare talent but not ready; wow, I'm sad, I think she's good enough--and Simon says he would've said yes. I think they made a mistake; she's better than a lot of those blonde chicks. Maybe they'll change their minds; Simon says afterwards I still think we made a mistake with that girl. And--yaaaaay! This has never happened--they go get her, say they want her to come back in, we made a mistake.

Wow; and they go to break. What a great show. A bit telegraphed, maybe; but it still affects you to watch it play out. Like a well-written thriller. Simon says we've never done this before; she chooses another song. I think some of her facial expressions are a bit distracting, but not really; and she can sing. You have some really bad habits, says Simon, but I think we're looking for someone unique, and there's something about you. Randy says I like you cause you're different; says yes, Paula says you need to do some work, but yes; and Simon yes. Yaaay! She does a little dance outside, it's cute. She's thankful, but also composed, like she knows she deserves it.

End with some wiggly weird guy, says his nickname is Jake the Snake, family was in the entertainment business so he wants to keep it up. Does and off-key Metallica or something song. You need to be in a very dark bedroom when you sing that song, says Simon. Ryan eggs him on afterwards--what are they looking for, so why aren't you in. He starts swearing; goes off on each judge one by one. So you like me, says Ryan. You're awesome, he says. It's pretty funny, actually.

San Antonio's wrapping up. Last guy, Rubenesque. Jimmy McNeal; whoah, I like his voice. And his funness; just bright voice, very charismatic. Wow, this guy could do something in Hollywood--no messing around, just sings, nice tone. Great, well-done says Simon, you're like a little fun Ruben. Authentic; likeable; they all put him through. Big cheers for him when he comes out; just seems like a nice, likeable guy. He tells his little girl I'm going to Hollywood; she says, So?!

22 made it out; some other guy in a uniform, apparently, who they didn't show. And tomorrow night--more freaks from all the cities. And some good people, too. Worst of the worst; and best of the best, says Ryan. Hmmm....