Gold among dross

Watching American Idols' final audition round show live; which actually they try to cast as a pre-Hollywood round preview. I guess even AI realizes the audition's round has gone a bit long....

Lesson 1 of the gimmicky show: The look. Bunch of weird outfits; profile some chick in Birmingham who considers herself a clothes horse. Today you're feeling like the inside of a dustbin, Simon cracks. Sings like someone in a failing nightclub. Paula actually cuts her off. She stops at the door to say she can really do this, in tears. Paula then bizarrely changes her mind after she starts crying, thankfully R/S don't.

Outof Memphis, Tami Gosnell who works as a cab driver, seems freaky--but in a good way, nice vibe. She has a good voice, Janis Joplinish. Makes you wanna listen; lot of life in there. Simon says he really, really likes her; you're like someone who could've been a big star in the 60s, terrific voice. Randy singles out her tone; she's beaming. Yeah, I like her too. Too bad she doesn't get shown until now. Quick google search shows she has quite a music career already; and a good homepage photo.

Lesson 2, they say, is seek inspiration. So contestants talk about who they like; mostly ridiculous. Paul Kim, outof LA; Asian American guy sticks up for his peeps; wow--where the heck did this deep, husky voice come from?! It's almost like he's singing in a tunnel; a bit freaky, actually, although I think the judges like him. A lot of breath; wonder how he'll do with other songs. Randy loves him, Olivia Newton John too, Paula--who Simon tries to cut off and is rude to--loves him, even if Paula tries to pretend otherwise. Outside, his family's all there; really wish they'd have featured him earlier, and a bit longer. Paul also has his own website, but it's sadly undeveloped. There are rumors that he made the final 12 guys, which would make him the second Asian American guy (Jose 'Sway' Penala was in the final 12 last year).

Next some idiot who's inspired by Bo Bice, but can't sing. Simon says he's incredibly deluded. Lesson 3: never give up, i.e. repeat contestants. Simon, of course, remembers nobody. Outof Memphis, the multi-tatooed Gina Glocksen, for the third time; does a decent version of Black Velvet, nothing so great. Simon says it was good, you've got soul, and taste (she says she loves him); they put her through, she runs over and hugs Simon. Outside her peeps are happy.

Little montage of people who like Simon, then people going off on Randy. And then, of course, the Abdul-addicts. Including some seriously confused Hispanic guy who says he's always loved Paula, and how she dances. She gets up to give him a hug, and a kiss; she really does like being a celebrity. He sings poorly, of course, is nervous. They take their time telling him he can't sing, he's good natured about it, tells Paula you're so hot. He's still glowing about it afterwards.

Segment on what Idol contestants do; it's actually great, people do everything under the sun. They show Ace/Chris/Kellie and what they did beforehand; then come three outof LA, dressed as carhops, inspired by Kellie's previous job. Lesson 4: never audition as part of a group. The first one up has an okay voice; next one, Ashley Cleland, is not only pretty attractive, but can also sing, they only give her a sec though. Wow, then Ebony Jointer does Whitney, what a great voice--deep, controlled, sounds like a pro. Makes the other two look silly. Simon says you're in a different league; her pals agree. Ashley gets Randy and ONJ to say yes, Paula tells her she's pretty but lose the makeup and puts her through. And of course Ebony makes it too. Hmm, the three actually do work as carhops.

Gosh, this show really drags when you can't fast-forward through commercials. Back, promo for a songwriting contest they're running--hmm, what a good idea. Snippets of people doing bad original compositions. Including some guy doing beatbox, pretty well as far as I can tell. Hmm, wish I could hear more. Then some deluded white guy, who looks like Mr. Clean. He's got the other contestants cheering for him; doesn't seem like a bad person. I want to not like his song, but it's a bit interesting, actually. Simon asks how do you think you did, he says I think it was great. Judges pass.

Lesson 5: do you have to dance? A bunchof people do, badly. Ryan, too, in an astonishingly bad white boy way. This is pretty entertaining, actually; they should show more. Then they show some guy who's half girl, does some weird movements; reminds me of the hispanic guy on that 70s show. Voice is hard to listen to, falsetto is bad. He seems to work pretty hard on his singing; Simons says you'll never be a good singer, do something different. Paula says you're a good person, gives him a hug. Randy calls him back for a handshake, guy cries a bit on his way out.

Hmm, it's interesting, I think the commercials on AI are less white than on most shows. Still don't reflect the nation, but at least there's some color now. Lesson 6, clarity. Ought to be first lesson, no. They show a few bad performances, nothing worth noting. Next, outof New York, Lakisha Jones, who has a 3-year-old; dressed poorly but seems like a sincere, decent person. And from the opening notes, it's obvious she can sing; powerful, in the Mandisa mold. Very animated, strong and in control; almost fierce. Simon says he loves her, you're a good old-fashioned belter. Praise all around, she really does have good likeability and a heck of a voice; her family's totally happy, it's cool. Cries with her daughter, awwww--she seems like someone who's totally serious about maximizing her opportunity, she's not gonna be screwing around in Hollywood.

That's about it for the audition round, Ryan says; they close with a medley of funny moments, including Paula spitting her gum out of Simon. There's a lot of clowning around on the show, they seem to have a lot of fun. Quick preview of Hollywood week--ah, now it starts. This is AI at its best; 172 people made it (wow!), now we start the real competition. Simon seems to be at his 'best'; lots of tears, lots of cheers.