American Idol cuts to 7

After a horrible show Tuesday and a bloated Idol Cares fest Wednesday, we've got results on Thursday. They recap the telethon with almost all celebs and very few starving kids; they're at $64 million so far says Ryan, which is well behind the $76 million last year.

Wow, more religion--Shout to the Lord. My Jesus, My Savior is how it starts--I'm really shocked at how Christian this show has become. The internal ratings must really be worrisome; I can guarantee this strategy won't help, it's the kind of thing that is going to make long-time fans stop watching. Interesting that as the country becomes more diverse, evangelicals become more in-your face. The worst part--the Jesus songs they're picking aren't even the good ones!

They do a stupid, celeb-filled lip synch video, to I'm a Believer; it's really not even halfway funny. And it's all-white, except for Kobe Bryant (and half of Rob Schneider). Really, given the demographics of the music industry you can't put together a video this white, unless you were trying.

And on that note, Brooke White comes out first. She's just babbling, it's dumb; but she's safe. David Cook next, he's fine. Then David Archuleta, he'll be fine and is.

So weird, that leaves just five, obviously most of them are in the botttom three. They come back, show another 'film' from Forest Whitaker and his wife, from Angola. Three kids who live in a one-room home show how they all sleep huddled together on a piece of foam; Forest is crying, it's really affecting.

Again, though--no context. Angola's civil war went on as long as it did because the U.S. and the Soviets fought it as a proxy war; in essence, their country was destroyed so that ours wouldn't be.

It's the same reason behind the war in Iraq--better we fight the terrorists in some Middle Eastern country, than in the streets of America, as President Bush has bluntly put it at times.

Let's at least acknowledge the cruel logic of that calculus, instead of pretending these third world countries are screwed up naturally somehow and we need to be charitable and bail them out.

There's no segue except enough of that let's hear some music--and it's Jordin Sparks, looking and singing like a superstar, with Chris Brown, No Air. They're good together, their voices are really similar, very melodic. It's really very enjoyable, they play act convincingly. Afterwards, they give her all these plaques for all the sales of her music, Ryan then says I think the message here is American Idol works.

The Ford commercial is dumb, they're hurling buckets of paint all over. Jason Castro next, he's safe. Kristy Lee Cook, Ryan lies and says all the judges thought it was great; she's safe as well.

So Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson, and Michael Johns are left as the bottom three. Bono shows up in a video clip, he says as a fan of America he wants to see us donate money. Then Hillary Clinton shows up, it's hilarious, she's even stressing experience her--says she's worked with a lot of the groups.

Then John McCain, makes a joke about Michigan and Florida will actually get their votes counted on American Idol; he looks surprisingly spry. Then makes a joke about getting back to work on his immigration plan--watch out Simon.

Barack Obama bats cleanup, references his daughters as big fans--stresses making the world a more just, equal and hopeful place to live. Interesting, they're all in character.

Ryan wastes time, grilling the judges; then another break. Syesha and Carly are safe, Michael Johns is voted off--to his evident surprise. And the audience is in shock, and booing.

Cool; then cold--Ryan says last year we didn't eliminate anyone at this stage during Idol Gives Back, tonight we're gonna say goodbye to Michael. He's pretty shocked, gets a standing ovation. He says he's surprised, but it's a good song to go out on; roll his video as he gives the look of death.

The judges praise him afterwards, Simon says you're a nice guy, I'll miss you. Hmmm, I didn't get that aspect, maybe I missed it, Simon's generally a good judge of character.

I think he essentially had no fan base left--David Archuleta and David Cook took all the chicks, with Jason Castro getting the rest. It's a pretty fun final performance; oh well, time to throw another shrimp on the barbie.