No diamonds, all coal on American Idol

One of my favorites singer songwriters is on the show tonight; Neil Diamond's great, I put him below Stephen Sondheim/Bob Dylan, but above the Billy Joels of the world, at the same level as Paul Simon.

He says he's looking forward to encouraging everyone; he's a good match for Idol, has a broad range of songs that tell stories. Oh, it's time to switch to two songs....

Forever in Blue Jeans and September Morn for Jason Castro, who apparently switched up lyrics singing for Neil. All he says about Castro is he thinks he'll be good on stage. In white, an almost somnolent version of Forever in Blue Jeans to start; it's very nice to listen to, but has none of Diamond's drive. I don't think this was a great choice; hey, one of the violin players right off-stage is wearing wrap-around shades, in the dark! Castro was fine, nothing compelling though.

David Cook chats with Ryan, wearing AC/DCish sportcoat, Cook asks Ryan how he prepared for this this week, it's dumb. I'm Alive, and All I Really Need is You, as Diamond says two more obscure songs. He really liked his take, said he got goosebumps--right attitude, right voice, he'll do great. Hmm, not much mentoring from Neil so far; is just driving through I'm Alive. He sounds great, it's totally hip and like something people would pay money to hear. Totally confident and in his element with this take on it. It's like he doesn't even really care about the judges, is just belting it out and knows it's good.

Short versions tonight with 10 songs in an hour; next is Brooke White, doing I'm A Believer, then I Am I Said. Two great songs, she's on guitar than piano. He suggests she sing I'm Arizona born and raised, says she made it genuine. Man, he's a horrible mentor so far. In weird blue floppy blouse, it's a weird version of I'm A Believer, just not that great, like almost hokey. Man, really reminds me how great of a singer Diamond is, this is just boring in her hands. Not a good choice; her voice isn't even as distinctive as it usually is.

David Archuleta next, it all feels shoehorned in tonight. Plenty of time to promote iTunes site, he's doing Sweet Caroline and America. Diamond calls him a prodigy, says with some guidance he'll be good--but they don't show his advice. In weird striped shirt; man, is a bit off to start Sweet Caroline--I don't like his version so far, at all. It's all syncopated or something; and the chorus isn't belted, he pulls back. Bad choice; I fear none of these people really get Diamond, or else he's so himself it's hard for others to cover. This is horrible, when I had thought it might be great.

Syesha Mercado doing Hello Again, and Thank the Lord for the Nighttime. Diamond likes her, she'll do great (he likes that word). In dark blue top; starts out pure, but a bit too fast, needs to play with this song. She's very sweet, but it feels rushed; hmmm, nice high note halfway through, that's different. The best so far tonight, she's soaring and it's distinctive. Seems happy too; this one actually I was sad to see end so quickly, these are like :45 versions.

Ryan rushes to get them all out again after their first song, asks Randy for quick opinions; says ok for Jason, good for Cook, okay for Brooke, the bomb for Archuleta, strong for Syesha. Paula: liked Castro's first song, then talks about his second, even though he hasn't sung it yet, gets totally screwed up and it's cringe-worthy. Simon says everyone's lucky they get two songs, rips everyone--you guys are top five, I wanna see the performance of a lifetime next. It's all a mess, I blame Ryan in part, he's like frantic and it's infectious.

Jason Castro with September Morn; ah, now you get his distinctive voice. Very soulful; he's a bit like a machine, just goes up and cranks out his thing on songs like this. It's a really good pick for him; nothing so different from Neil's version, but it's a great song so why mess with it. He does seem low energy, almost lazy; this might be his last week, but better than the first song. Randy says just okay, vocals weren't great; Paula says same safeness on both songs, get outside your comfort zone; Simon says come on, this isn't the Castro we like, nothing unique, both are forgettable.

David Cook doing All I Really Need is You, switches to an acoustic guitar. He's really showing his sensitive side to start, the song's not great so it's hard to feel compelled. He cranks up the second half; I really don't think there's such a thing as someone who can sing a phone book, not sure why Cook thought he could turn two mediocore songs into winners just with his style. Crowd loves it; Randy says I'm a huge fan, you rocked the house again; Paula is proud of him, two tough songs, pulled them off; Simon says first was okay, second was brilliant, made it feel contemporary. Nah, I disagree with all of them; nobody's playing back either song tonight to hear again, unlike some of his other efforts.

Brooke White disagrees with Simon's assessment of the first go-around as a nightmare, has to write a lyric on her hand; hustles over to the piano. I Am, I Said. Start is rushed; the whole thing is turning into a kindof perfunctory thing, this is one of the most emotional, plaintive songs in the modern songbook, but she's just reeling it off like it's some ditty. It's a mess; should've been much better. Randy says tough song, nice job. Paula says it worked, Simon says he hated the first song, but this one was good. Not incredible, but not horrible. I don't know what's up with the judges tonight, maybe they just don't want to rip everyone.

Oh god, David Archuleta doing this plastic version of Coming to America; maybe it is just impossible to get Diamond's great voice out of my head, everyone tonight sounds so lightweight. This is downright cheesy; he has a good voice, but he's making this song something it's not, it's not I'm Proud to Be an American, it's more weighty; it's not some rah-rah USO thing, it's got grit. Randy loves it, Paula says perfect song, Simon says a clever choice of song, ticked all the boxes, very good.

Syesha closes up, Thank the Lord for the Nighttime. God, she starts totally off-key; doesn't improve much from there. Her version is just so grating, I'm not even paying attention. Randy likes it, Paula says you're right in your strong area, likes the softness in her voice; Simon says this is officially the strangest show we've ever done, kind of a bit chaotic for us. Says you're a very good actress/singer, but you may be in trouble tonight. Not a really memorable second song, she says yeah? We'll see.

Wow, what a mess tonight; on playback, Castro actually comes across much better, at least he didn't make me cringe. Archuleta is almost impossible to listen to again, I really disliked both of his songs.

I think one problem with Idol nowadays is that everyone who's in the finals has a shot at making a lot of money and gets to release an album, so nobody's really going for it. They're just playing it safe, no blood and guts out there.

Maybe also if they're singing songs by someone you really like, it can't help but pale by comparison. Maybe every week lots of people who tune in because they're excited by the composer wind up thinking it's the worst week ever--like I did tonight.

Syesha Mercado, Hello Again
David Cook, I'm Alive
Jason Castro, September Morn
David Cook, All I Really Need is You
Jason Castro, Forever in Blue Jeans
Syesha Mercado, Thank the Lord for the Nighttime
Brooke White, I Am, I Said
David Archuleta, Coming to America
Brooke White, I'm a Believer
David Archuleta, Sweet Carolina