Highest to gauchest

Blogging backwards. Watched a bit of the U.S.-Sweden hockey match this morning, U.S. wound up losing 2-1.

HOUR ONE
Cross-country skiing Men's 4x10K relay
Yaay--Al Trautwig and Paul Rouse. Heavy fog as the stage is set for Italy vs. Norway. I really wish I didn't know what happened already. Recap, last three Olympic miles totaling 75 miles, Norway in front by .01 seconds. It's almost unimaginable. Off they go in the fog, can barely see. Wow, what a setting. Deliberate classical style starts off. It's really funny to watch, can't see much at all. Hmm, U.S. surprisingly high bib number, 11, based on finish at last year's world championships.

Pack is totally bunched, it's irrelevant who's in front now; fans are still arriving, this isn't the 150,000 in Lillehammer crowd. Another brief recap of history, almost same as what started this segment, as we go to break.

Wow, they come back and have totally cut the race, it's the halfway point, an hour in. Looks like the Italians are actually doing their share of leading the pack for once. Announcer says as the race goes on though Italy will again refuse to do its share. They gotta figure out a way of solving this problem, Norway won't always be the suckers. Pack is still bunched, as freestyle legs come up. Top five--Czechs, Russians, Norwegians, Germans, Italians; then Sweden, French, Switzerland. Fog cleared off, some light snow falling now.

Original ice dancing
It's Tom Hammond, Dick Button, and Tracy Wilson to bring us the worst of the ice skating events, but still worth watching for the top competitors. But before that, a lot of chaff. First, Wing/Lowe of Canada, she's of Asian descent, he's white; in red, and black. This year's original dances all are based on 'latin rhythmns', Tracy says, reading off the boilerplate as they skate. Odd, he's not even looking at her, out at crowd; it's like they just happen to be side by side. Mid-line skate sequence is the toughest part, they're not allowed to touch; for 'twizzle' element they have to skate on one foot, in unison--a traveling turn essentially. Button--'if Joey and Sally front porch think they can get up and do that, they have another thing coming.'

Americans Silverstein/O'Meara, she in fluorescent orangeish, he in black. They're a little slow and deliberate, too much of the effort shows on his face. It was fine, nothing great or bad. Tracy says skating is made up of big lobes and curves across the ice, unless and elemnt calls for straightness. Odd, they're not sitting together, two people in between them. NBC cuts away from their scores to show top U.S. team arriving, you hear in the background--but never see--that they're in third place at the moment. How annoying; it's that lack of professionalism and of finishing things off in a proper manner that is marring NBC's broadcast.

Back to relay
Hmm, not much time elapsed since last look-in. Still bunched-together, as they make their way out of stadium--actually, I think they picked up right where they left off. Norway hanging back a bit--either they're struggling, or strategy. I'd say struggle, the Norwegians are too proud to feel they need to play games, even when they do. Italians, on the other hand, seem incapable of playing things straight, they always seem to need something going on on the side, or to at least thing they have something else going on.

Hmm, show Frenchman going the wrong way on the course, funny. Russian also apparently refuse to do their share at the front. Italy in front, pushing pace a bit going up the hill. Norway still trailing, odd. Trautwig: It's not Norway's plan to be hanging out with Switzerland in a cross-country race. But that's where they still are as they go in halfway through 3rd lap.

Italy and Sweden pulling away on final hill before final leg. Man, Italian is really just pulling away, his lead is big. Norway is almost 40 seconds behind. The Italian anchor, nicknamed 'Zorro,' lost the last two relays at the end to the Norwegians. Italian 3rd guy is just pulling like crazy; Swede, coached by a Norwegian, coming close. Huge roar from the crowd; Italy makes the final exchange. Swedes are 5 seconds behind, but Italian final guy is just skating like crazy. Last leg for Norway is their youngest skier, they're 43 seconds behind.

Whoah, NBC commercial for their new Sunday night football announcing team--John Madden, Al Michaels, Bob Costas, and Chris Collingsworth. Wow, that's a great team--every one of them a good announcer, and journalist. If only Bob could have them here in Torino....

HOUR TWO
Dream come true
Sweden and Germany trying to catch the Italian; he's extending their lead, almost 30 seconds. Where's Norway? What's happened to this team--still no cross-country gold for them at this Olympics. Announcer says Swedes and German seem to have given up chasing Italian for gold, are just watching each other for silver/bronze. Man, inconceivable that the Norwegians are just so out of it. Come into stadium before going back out for final lap, lead is now just over 30 seconds. Silly segment on Italy's anchor going into break, promoting him as Zorro.

German and Swede are really going after it for second. This is gonna be a great sprint between those two. Meanwhile, the Italian guy comes in to roars. Even the Norwegians are cheering, says Al. He grabs an Italian flag, just inches over line. Now watches German leading Swede, he'll win, 15 seconds behind. In fourth is France. And in fifth, 1:10 behind, is Norway....

Afterwards Italian says in halting English he's really happy, it's been crazy. Guy who broke out in third leg says it was his strategy to make a big move, one time in his life to do it. Adds at the moment they're not able to understand the feeling, needs to go see the fans. They show the ceremony at the venue, sea of flags, bedlam.

Two-man bobsleigh
Snow is coming down heavily; Germany 2 shown first, skids into wall--commentators have to interrupt their chatter with an oooh after it happens. Hits the wall again. Idiot commentator is talking about horse racing and football. Next, Todd Hays and USA 1; he said the other day he chose the wrong set of runners the first run, but NBC of course doesn't mention it until just now. He's all over the place, and is losing time; finishes second. Canada 1 next, surprise they're down here with the U.S., are better than that. Good start; commentators so far haven't said a single word about this race, they're almost done; amazingly, they don't say a single thing about this race the whole time, just recounting the other day's runs--maybe they'll talk about this run come four-man time.

Break off to go back stage, show drivers visualizing the track, very disjointed segment, the announcer on it can't write.

Best writing of the night is a commercial for the final episodes of the West Wing--wow, Dana and Josh finally kiss! That was a great show in its day... this country has changed so much in the last few years, it feels almost like you're sticking your head in the sand watching in nowadays. They should just make it topical week-to-week; how great would it be to have Cheney's hunting cover-up attempt be this week's episode?

Germany 1 goes, their usual good run, but barely faster than Canadians, .05 seconds only... losing time... but now they're picking it back up, in first. Russians next, in 5th coming in; move up to third after a good run. Next, Switzerland 1. These guys aren't going strictly in reverse order of finish, but announcers don't say how it's determined. Into third. USA 2 goes, does nothing.

Historic medal ceremony
Shani Davis becomes first black to win individual winter games medal... he looks a bit like Denzel Washington. I really like him, for a poor black man to make it in his sport he must have overcome innumerable obstacles. His eyes are filling with tears; what a great guy. The 1500M event on Tuesday will be unbelievable, 3 gold medalists from Torino and Derek Parra, gold medalist from Salt Lake, going against each other.

Cool, they get a black reporter to interview him. It's a nice interview, lot better than with ice princess Melissa Stark yesterday. He holds up the gold medal after being asked about the team pursuit competition, says it speaks for itself.

Dance, dance, dance
Kerr/Kerr of Great Britain--Scottish brothers and sister, she's in ice blue, he's in black, they oddly start far apart. Nothing like watching a couple of Scotts do the rhumba. Everything seems very stiff and unnatural, if it isn't choreographed, it isn't done. They're actually not terrible though, apparently Christopher Dean has been helping them with choreography. The sport's gone so beyond what he was familiar with though, a lot more outlandish nowadays. They're a little slow on spins. Good footwork seciton. Nice routine; maybe not as difficult as some of the others. Button comments on them being brother and sister, says it changes the chemistry between them--sure does, in a sport that's so theatrically sensual they're like old-fashioned. Into first at this point.

Watanabe/Kidd of Japan, no explanation of his last name. She's in fairy princess pink, he in same. Cha-cha, then rhumba, then sambe Tracy says. Not skating close together, also not synchronized. Music isn't great either. Not a classic look for either; Tracy says they're not top team because of lack of closeness, lot of hand-to-hand pulling together used. There's just something lacking--energy, charisma, who knows, but it's not that fun to watch.

Next, Chait/Sakhnovski of Israel, Russian parents. I think this is the second time I've seen an Israeli compete, there was a figure skater from there in Salt Lake I think. Both in white with maroon, start out with very exaggerated hip and arm movements. Out of sync on cross-ice steps, although Wilson says they'll be happy with that. They should have a mini-tutorial on the web, five things you need to know to watch this event. Button talks about the powder-puffery of her dress; says their overly-theatricalness detracts from the perfomance. End leaves feathers flying in the air, bit too much for everyone. And they're into first at this point.

HOUR THREE
'He's okay now'
Jimmy Roberts and Chevrolet talk about Shaun Palmer tonight. Who's Shaun? They don't tell us for the first minute of the piece. He's apparently a snowboarder with a crazy past and colored hair. 'Miserable Champion' is the documentary about him. Lots of drinking and hard-living going on. Where's Bode in this? He took up lots of action sports, almost died last year after drinking a ton and taking a bunch of drugs. His way out--the Olympics. Trained, made the U.S. team at 37; then ripped his achilles tendon while training; but his attitude is it's allright, at least I made the team. Watching this, you wonder how F. Scott Fitzgerald could have gotten it so wrong about second acts in America. Roberts ends by saying he's not sure what to say about Palmer, then says he plans to try for Vancouver. Odd... almost feel like they were told to do this piece and afterwards aren't quite sure where they went with it. Maybe that's good--journalism doesn't always have to wrap it up with a bow.

They keep dancing
Lithuanians Drobiazko/Vanakas, husband and wife, she in red, he black. Whoah, weird music to start, very twisty moves from them. Their moves are all connected, nothing disjointed about them. Whoah, he holds and skates with her upside down half the ice, it looks neat although who knows what the judges think. They're pretty good. My gosh, she totally falls, grabs him by the neck on the way down, he falls too. She looks upset, but they're still holding hands. Show replay, she caught her toepick; Button says 'that's why the toepick is such a dangerous instrument.' He's funny. Still good enough to get into first.

Next, Domnina/Shabalin of Russia, she's in reddish white dress, he in white top/blue pants. Rhumba then salsa. I like them, have a nice flow to it. Very deliberate footowkr, not that fast. Music picks up pace, so do they. Button says it's far more romantic than the 'feverish theatricality' of the other skaters. And now comes some of that craziness... look at me, I'm having a great time, whooo, look at me! Wow, when she spins, it looks like her dress is in three separate sections, interesting.

Urkanians Grushina/Goncharov, in hot pink--he's slit down to waist, black below. Some of these costumes should be illegal, they're so gauche. They wanna live and coach in the U.S.... interesting how all these ex-Iron Curtain ice skaters wind up doing that. The pink fluorces on the screen, cameramen must hate them. Button says their moves look unattractive, even if they're good. He's like the armchair amateur for this event. Finish with a flourish, Button nails it--sortof hard-edged, things didn't ooze, wasn't passionate or romantic. But good marks, into first.

Delobel/Schoenfelder of France, she's in bright yellow with fringe skirt, he in white with a yellow cloth tied around his head karate-fashion. So ridiculous, they start out jiggling, it's almost like they're parodying Step n' Fetchit or something. So bad. Tracy likes their routine though, says they have good skating and knee movements. I think it's okay.

Denikova/Staviyski of Bulgaria, she in fluorescent pink, he in black, shirt open to waist. Whoah, like headbanging at the start, very high-energy from the get-go, no easing into it, a lot of flying hair. Button says they just 'reek' of Latin music, of seduction; 'I like them!' Eh, they're ok; then they make a 'major' mistake on a spin element, not that I could tell without Tracy/Dick. He's carrying her, but it almost looks like she's about to fall. Nice replay of a lift where he's skating across, carrying her upside-down, as Tracy says it's a nice shape, requires a lot of strength by her to hold herself like that.

Italy exults
Medal ceremony for cross-country team, as snow comes down--crazy Italian looks, one in purple hair, another very Euro glasses, all in michelin-man silver outfits. These guys are guaranteed a role in any future Olympics held in Italy. Crowd sings along, as do skiers. Costas has a funny line, that he likes this 'Zorro' guy, who dons a cape and a mask after a victory--which is 'what I like to do after a successful broadcast.'

They follow this with Jerome Bettis, essentially a big promo for his joining the NBC football broadcast team. It's a prime spot, right before 10, which makes it ridiculous and also sad.

Women's 1000M speedskating
No way Americans do anything in this event, they start it after 10 pm. Skipped blogging a couple of pairs, eating--nothing notable happened, they only showed one because an American was involved. Canadian Cindy Klassen against Chinese Zhang Shuang. Klassen easily into first overall, Zhang left far behind. Jansen thinks this time will hold up for a while.

Marianne Timmer of the Netherlands in their fluorescent orange uniforms, against Canadian Kristina Groves. They talk a little about the protocol of the start, raising the issue of complaints the other night when Timmer was disqualified, saying starter waited too long between ready and shooting the gun. Funny that something with so much dependent on it still depends on the vagaries of some human's decision. And Timmer just barely into first overall, elated.

Another Canadian, Shannon Rempul, vs. Sayuri Yoshii of Japan. Wow, the Japanese woman is like half the size of the Canadian. And yet they outlive everyone.... Neither of them will beat Timmer, tiring already. Next, American Chris Witty--whose world record in this event from Salt Lake is the longest current-standing record. Tells you something about how fast this sport is getting better. Against Russian Svetlana Zhurova, who won gold in the 500. Russian out fast early, Witty already a second back. Neither skater will be able to do anything; Witty actually looks like she's out for a leisurely skate, no sense of pushing it--more than 2.5 seconds off.

Ren Hui of China, and Russian Yekaterina Lobysheva of Russia. Chinese woman is pretty big... must be from the north. Whoah, she slips and falls; good camerawork on the reply. I think it's the first I've seen in this competition. Russian does nothing. Next, Wang Manli of China--silver medalist in 500; and yet another Canadian Christine Nesbitt. Man, Wang is toally motoring early; she's the first medalist the Chinese coach has produced in 40 years of coaching. How did he hold on to his job for so long?! Neither do anything in this event, not even close.

NBC does an idiot segment on Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick. For the first time they air not just Hedrick's comments, but Davis' as well.

'Miami Ice', Jennifer Rodriguez--who won bronze four years ago in this event--up next. Wang Beixing of China. Ooh, a false start--Dan Jansen says actually to JR's advantage, she didn't get a good start, but caused the false start. She looks slow at the start... but DJ says she picks up speed. It ain't gonna happen, she's losing time, nearly a second behind, looks tired--into 8th.

Funny, they're devoting so much prime time on the top tv-watching night of the week to the Dutch national sport. Chiara Simionato of Italy, Ireen Wust of the Netherlands. Crowd is going nuts, packed with Italians and Dutch. They should be feeding off the crowd, but are so slow. Dutch girl is picking up some time, still half a second slow into final turn; finishes in third.

Final pair, Anni Friesinger and fellow German Sabine Voelker, in snazzy blue uniforms, huge thighs accentuated by black bottoms. Hmm, both are fast, on pace. Dropping off a bit now... Anni is getting close, last stretch will be key; and she's into 3rd. Crowd goes nuts, Timmer is golden. I'm glad; they care so much about this sport, and know so much about it, it's fitting. It's amazing, you can hear the crowd singing, some parts of it are absolutely orange.

Idiot Melissa Stark with her so-odd passive aggressive reporting style talks to Timmer; Timmer handles her well, is forceful and confident, just contradicts Stark's almost-angry questions. Says jaaa a few times.

HOUR FOUR
More moronic unironic dance
I mean, these costumes are just ridiculous. What would Vera Wang think?! Squeeze in yet another profile of Ben Agosto and Tanith Belbin, this time focused on her Canadianess until recently. He stuck by her even though they didn't know if she'd be able to compete in Torino. She's a classic example of someone who's lovely, except when all that makeup's on.

First up is Dubreuil/Lauzon of Canada, she's in some native american-inspired? bead choker with tan, he's all in black. Music is salsa, then rhumba. Ok..... Not terribly close together; guess this is the synchronization part. Second part, which I don't believe is a rhumba, it's more like a classic French torch song, is actually quite lovely music-wise, and they're pretty fun to watch. Commentary is non-existent--Tracy is just reading off what's coming up. Oooh, and he totally drops her on a twirl at the very end, she looks like she's hurt; poor Dick Button is in pain in sympathy; he kisses her but she can barely skate off the ice; crowd gives them huge applause. He carries her once off-ice, looks so apologetic. Ooh, on the reply, it looks like her hands slip, you can see her face grimacing, trying to hold on, it looks painful even if she doesn't fall straight on her hip, he falls too thrown off balance.

Insane Faiella/Scali Italian team, she's in bright yellow bikini-ish outfit, he's got yellow top/black. They look ridiculous, and start off dancing like the characters in that Charlie Brown Christmas special. My gosh, Europeans--and white people--really dance like fools. It's so cheesy, like something straight out of the 70s, but they think they're hip. All flouncy and over-the-top, it's embarassing to watch (if wonderfully entertaining). Wilson says he's got such a Latin flair--I imagine people in Brazil doubling over in laughter at this. My gosh, she trips, then pulls him down on top of him. It's insane, this is ice dancing, not pairs. Button is gushing about these guys, in the way someone says overly-nice things at a modern art exhibit they don't really get for fear of sounding disdainful. He's a lot better as a commentator on things he understands--versus someone like Bob Costas, who's good on anything. Their marks are low, crowd boos and whistles, into 12th.

Navka/Kostomarov of Russia, she's in some Native Americanish princess costume with leopard-blue print and headband, he's in black with open chest. It's like being at a Russian disco, that's what the music is like too. Fun, though; good sense of energy. Wilson claims it looks like they're skating slightly cautiously. I would hate to see them letting it go. She looks like she's taller than him, I think Button last time talked about them having this problem. Now it's become like a French burlesque show. A lot of flailing of limbs. Now a totally ridiculous jungle-theme, they've got their mouths open miming passion and abandon, I'm thinking epileptic fit. Commentators unironically celebrate them for getting through without falling. They should get good scores, were pretty good. Super-slo mo on replay is kindof creepy. She makes some kissy-noises and says a bunch of stuff in Russian to the camera; they're into first. Backstage shot of Canadian going off to hospital.

I think people are right to question whether ice dancers are real athletes--I think they are, but the way they look and act is totally without that sense of upright grace most world-class athletes have.

Leaders, Italians Fusar-Poli/Margaglio. She's in a totally ridiculous Hawaian-inspired outfit--with a cross on the arm, he's in black, open chest and a big flower thing too. Music starts off like bad Ricky Martin. I guess it's the openly inauthentic cheesiness of these outfits that I find so silly, it's even disrespectful especially since they just don't care. I mean, if you wanna get the Hawian look, at least use real colors, instead of some odd mishmash. That, in combination with the bad music. Wilson is really criticizing them, too much distance between them, not the degree of difficulty--and near the end they, too, fall! He picks her up and drops her, she looks at him openly disdainfully, like she's gonna slap him or something. Gone is the fake cheerfulness of a second ago; and now they just stand at center ice, oddly staring at each other; then stick the fake smiles on and bow. She's muttering under her breath as they go off, he's walking as if he's not with her. It's entirely his fault, too, as she makes clear. Coach prods her to look up at the camera as she's got her head down, they get horrible marks.

Final couple, Belbin/Agosto. I really like ice dancing when it's well-done; Torrville and Dean are two of my all-time favorite Olympians. But when it's not done well, it's an embarassment. Hope these two redeem the sport tonight. She's in red, he's in black. Very fast start, some sort of Latin mambo thing I believe. Wow, they are skating well, tight and fast, moves look spontaneous and are so powerful. This is good. Crowd's into it too. Come on, guys! Appropriate shot of 'Passion lives here' theme in background. Now slower Latin song. Nice lift, so easy. Some guy in the crowd is running back to his seat, eyes on them the whole time. Man, it's so flamboyant, but high-energy. A little slow on a cross-ice routine. Pretty close together, Wilson likes it. Final lift, wow, so fast, and in control! There's your top score of the night; Wilson says Russians had some better technical stuff, but this was the best performance over all. They seem to be having a lot of fun togeher, although oddly are not sitting together, two people in between them. A big roar from the crowd, they're into second--came in 6th, so well-done.

More sleigh
Well, obviously Americans do nothing, it's 11:39 as they start. Latvia 1 first, such interesting colors--white and a maroonish shade for a national flag, like something designed. Quick google search, the second shade is significant; flag apparently dates from 1279, one of the oldest flags--which means it predates design, which also would explain the way it looks. Next sleigh, USA 1, falls into second at this point, not a good event for Americans for some reason. Germany 2 goes, into first... how come the Japanese don't do well in this event? Next, Russia 1; snow is steady, makes it harder as it goes on. Wow, they're very fast, team is quite happy with the run.

Switzerland 1 zooms down, they finish first, commentators are impressed with the driving, Russians are sad. Next, Canada 1. Idiot announcer makes golf analogies. Zipping down, into first; funny, parts of the course cameras can't see, awning up to keep snow off. Germany 1... Looks like a good run--and they get gold, .21 seconds faster.

So weird--how does the U.S. dominate the real world, when it never seems like we're as focused or effective come crunch time as the Germans or Russians or other countries in these Olympic games? It seems when we win, it's with brute force or technology or other resources, or in sports that we invent.... Maybe it's because our best go into real world things, whereas for a lot of other countries, sports really is all they have to escape. I don't know... NBC should run a segment on this.

They end with Andrea Boticelli as they show highlights from the weekend. And what a weekend it was--especially if you were Italian, Norwegian, or German.

Photo of (L-R) Cristian Zorzi, Pietro Piller Cottrer, Fulvio Valbusa and Giorgio DiCenta of Italy celebrating the gold medal in the mens cross country Skiing 4x10km relay final by Agence Zoom/ Getty Images.

Photo of Tanith Belbin, left, and Benjamin Agosto performing by Mark Baker/ AP.

Photo of Marianne Timmer of The Netherlands reacting after her race by Torsten Silz/ AFP.

Photo of Swiss 1 brakeman Beat Hefti, left, celebrating with pilot Martin Annen after winning the bronze medal by David J. Phillipi/ AP.