Apple of our eye

American Idol in 'New York'--like the Giants and Jets, actually they're in East Rutherford, New Jersey, but they never reveal that. Watching on tape a day later; they open with people guessing how many contestants show up--they never give an actual answer, but lots and lots.

With guest judge Carol Bayer Sager; who's apparently a singer-songwriter who's won an Oscar and Tony. A Groovy Kind of Love being her most famous work--oh, and That's What Friends Are For, with her then-hubbie Burt Bacharach. First up is some weirdo with a bad (and a whole lot of) attitude who's already been on So You Think You Can Dance, cursing out Simon Cowell's Brit cohort on that show. There's a funny segment where they show him talking to people on the street and nobody cares who he is or what he says. This guy didn't sing, and is just here for the pub; so I won't give him anymore (although at times he's a bit funny).

Okay, Simon does call him rubbish--he starts yelling at Ian; who yells back before security tells him to leave; Ian starts yelling about Simon being a Brit and it's not his country and he wants to see his work visa. What a sad, pathetic guy.

Next, some teen with a slightly odd nose from Ohio whose parents don't know she's here, Sarah Burgess. She starts crying talking about how her dad doesn't believe in her. Aww, poor little girl. She crys again talking to the judges. Hey--she can sing! A very Broadway-ish voice, but good tone and unusual maturity; I like her. Simon says you don't have the greatest voice, but you're a try-er; Randy likes her voice too, as does CBS--Sarah starts crying again. You kindof have to pull for her, she seems so sincere and cares a lot. They show her calling her dad; on speakerphone--it's actually pretty powerful, her dad says just get home safe. My Gosh, she's totally the early favorite now, you can't make this stuff up.

Some Greek chick next, I doubt she'll be any good. And she isn't, just weird--no real self-confidence, either. Next an interesting one, Ashanti, who's made it to Hollywood twice before already and is trying again. Hmmm, didn't know you could. To get ready says she's been eating six times a day? Whaat--her voice isn't any good, very fakey. How'd she make it twice before? I'm pretty surprised; it's pitchy, and hard to listen to. Bad song choice to boot. They all pass, odd. Then she starts pleading. And goes on, and on; they play some soap opera thing behind it, it's actually very apt. She's actually not a bad public speaker. She says if America got a chance to see me, they'd love me--Simon says well, these three are Americans, and they don't. My gosh, talk about the long goodbye--she tries singing again, says more on her way out, Simon ends it finally.

I'm getting annoyed at the editing, which shows all NYC scenes juxtaposed with scenes of the line in N.J. Back with best friends from Jersey, who are attractive in that 'takes them careful hours of preparation each day to look like that' way. Best friend #1, Amanda Coluccio goes in, then is encouraged to bring in best friend #2, Antonella Barba with lesbian joking by the judges. They do a duet, as Simon says it was a bit of a mess. Amanda doesn't have much of a voice; does Crazy--good song choice for her voice, it's not bad. I don't think she's very good; oversings, doesn't flow; everything is deliberate. Randy says not bad; Simon says generic; Paula wants to send her on. Simon says he couldn't care one way or the other, says yes. CBS same, Randy says got some work to do; why not.

Antonella sings, she's better, but really--neither are anything special, nor do I think either is that attractive. CBS likes her look a lot, they send her on. It's all about the bff story here; I do like how Antonella sticks up for her friend. There's lotsof hugging and whatnot. Antonella doesn't tell her friend judges said she maybe be untrained, but is better.

Odd, so far no zip to this episode--it's NYC, should be more energy somehow. Maybe cause people are pretty intense so far. Some laconic guy does noises; I don't think he's any good. Simon laughs wildly for no apparent reason. Starts shouting out some ZZ Top. Good stage presence, actually; just no singing skills. Pulls out harmonica after judges ask for another song... uh, okay. Yo, gotta sing at least a little.

Show a bunchhof no's; apparently trouble finding a good guy. Funny, that's what a lot of women say about the city.... Show more no's; Randy and Simon crack up laughing at some androgynous guy. Last day 1 person, Kia Thornton, can sing--does Ain't No Way; controlled, slowed, and good husky voice with power. Just confident and performed well--she's like a pro, this is what she does. Simon says wow, this girl can sing, sending her into tears. He's like you don't need me to tell you that, it's obvious; a great audition. CBS says don't oversing; you're wonderful. Paula likes her, and of course Randy too. Wonder what her back story is; she could be a contender. Outside she falls on the floor, kneeling and hugging Ryan.

Day 2 underway--why do they always show the judges pulling up? Simon apparently skips out on the start; Henry Bejarano first. Already you can tell he's good--adopted by Bolivians in NY at the age of 1, good-looking tall black guy. Has the self-confidence, without arrogance, seems very sweet. Wow, he's gonna be a good story; too bad Simon's not here for this. She's got Paula before he even starts singing--and he's good, amazing he's just 16, has a lot of self-possession. Just a pleasure to listen to, not amazing, but very good. Paula says she's surprised, so young but good, easy on the eyes; CBS says you've got something special; Randy likes him too. Just hope he doesn't fall in with the wrong element in Hollywood, as Randy says stay humble. His family's all there, it's very sweet, actually. Wow, a lot of good stories out of NYC.

Gotta balance the good with the bad, of course; some jumpy fat black woman next, it's like she's drank 10 cups of coffee. Gosh, I just wish one time one of these people like this turn out to be good. Hey--she has a pretty decent voice! Eh, a bit pitchy, but a fun song, Dancing in the Street, and has good energy. A hard one, if she was hot she'd go through, but as it is it's a bit goofy. So then she sings a slow song, not as well. CBS nails it--she's pretty perceptive; first song fun, we went with you; second song we could hear all the pitchy problems. So she fails; even though she sang better than the sisters. At the door she says she has a lotof people who she can't let down. She's gonna be mad when she watches the show and sees the sisters. Lotsof tears, and big sadness afterwards. Ah, she's devastated; "I just wish I could change their mind." Not melodramatic, just very sad; "you get tired of hearing no, and it's not just singing."

Next contestant supports her, but she turns out to be totally flaky, with a red cowboy hat. Sings so out of tune it's not even funny, although the judges do crack up. CBS asks her just straight out do you in your heart really think you can sing; she says no, I'm not a singer. They ask why are you here then; she says her friends make fun of her cause she's tone deaf; is actually rude with Randy. Does that thing crazy people do where they talk deliberately and enunciate even as their eyes are bugging out. Says even if I can't sing I can be the next American Idol--you can teach me. My god, she's so deluded and self-centered and nuts. She says you don't really have to sing to be an American Idol; so weird and a total waste of our time. Hostile too--she has mental issues I think, or an astonishing sense of entitlement. Starts screaming at the camera, then going off on the other contestants, she's definitely mentally unbalanced.

Simon shows, some doofus in a fedora doing New York, Ny. He's 47.... Can't sing, doesn't even pronounce it New York, sings it New Yorr. Next, someone who I instantly think is good; Jory Steinberg, originally from Canada. Has met some heads of state, unknown why. Interesting giant brooch. She can sing--something I'd never heard before, Chains; a different type of voice, wow, suddenly nails the high/loud part. Simon says that was terrific, paced it well; Paula says very professional; and of course on she goes. I like her. Does a funny little jig in celebration.

Some crazy chick from Queens next, who says she's completeley militant when it comes to preparing for the audition, gets up at 5 to work out, lost like 20 pounds. Says it takes a certain type of attitude, a New Yorker to deal with it. Dresses trashily with a bunch of bracelets; no good I'd say. Hmm... Porcelana Patino, again, isn't bad--a very mannish voice; ugh, ok, not as good now. But Paula says you're pretty awesome, at first I thought you were peculiar; CBS likes her, says you're unique; Randy says yes too. She actually turns out not to be cocky, is moved that they picked her; group hug with everyone but Simon. I like her, actually--she really wanted to do this, and did.

It's very interesting, New York is turning out to be the strongest show, and also the most surprising. Makes sense, I guess; that's the way the city is. Odd clips about people's names and the judges messing them up. Simon especially seems to like screwing them up. The clips aren't all from NY, which makes it ever weirder. Some guy who looks like George Michael, and a bit like Simon. He has a good look, actually, and seems cool. But can't sing--howls, actually. Very bad broadwayish. Simon tells him he should be singing in a dress and stilletos. Randy says sing some Barry White. Simon rips on Paula for giving him advice that's not related to the competition; she actually swears at him, then gets up and tells him he's a bad boy. Poor Paula--then she goes off on him afterwards for being mean to someone who's standing there being vulnerable.

Some teen chick who's from Manhattan (emphasis), New York. Starts yelling as she walks in. Rachel Zevita--ugh. Can't sing, overdoes everything. Her voice is probably not much worse than that Mikaleh chick from a couple years ago, but not as interesting of a personality. Does another song after CBS surprisingly says she likes her, I thought it was better; then does some horrendous opera at Randy's request. I can sing anything, she says. This is a very odd one--they put her through. Which I don't think is good, she's already got a huge ego; does say the South has had a lockdown on AI, this year it's New York. I do agree with that, but in her case I don't think there's enough there there for her to last.

Show Ryan dancing like a fool with a bunchof contestants to some tribal-style music. Clips of bad people singing (or shouting) All Night Long; including some Kermit-like guy. Christopher Richardson, who we know from the tease is interesting. I like him, he has a humble, nice vibe. Wow, and he can sing--powerful, nice tone. Pleasant to listen to, good pacing, very sincere. I could see him doing very well. Carol is totally in synch with the judges, they all like him; Randy makes comparison to Justin T-lake, Paula says you're very special. Simon says you could surprise us in the next round, could do better. On he goes; sortof your average white guy in some way, Paula thinks girls will love him (3 of them hug him outside).

Back with scarily bad and painful singing. Nicolas Pedro, who last year quit during Hollywood week, couldn't remember lyrics. He says there hasn't been a day that's gone by since that he wasn't haunted by it. Good look, seems like a good guy, says he now sees himself as a singer; says he doesn't wanna be remembered as the guy who quit, he tried. Fly Me to the Moon--ah, I remember him, a very good tone that sucks you in. Very sincere. Paula is just beaming. CBS says I think you're wonderful, Randy yes, Paula yes, Simon yes, he beams. Good story, I like him.

Back with someone idiotic and sloppy--what's the deal with cowboy hats this year. She apparently sings on sidewalks in NYC. Hmm, seems to be having a breakdown before she starts singing. Too much jangling of bracelets, although she sings poorly too, so.... Some weird song, not really lyrics so much as moans and noises. Pretty crazy, actually; like a Hare Krishna on a bad acid trip. Funny, afterwards she says sometimes when she sings she can get arrested. She's very spacey. Odd.

Wow, 35 people made it out of New York. It's by far the strongest round, and so many different kinds of winners. Lots of enthusiasm from them and their supporters. Wow, line of cabs are waiting to take them out of the arena, that's gonna be a high fare.

Next week--Birmingham. A lot of good talent out of there historically.