American Idol's top 12 guys

Five hours of American Idol every week for the next few weeks... will it be a chore or a delight? I guess we find out tonight, with the guys. Many of whom, with the hair and all, look like the girls.

I vote for Garrett to be the first to go, just based on the way they walk out.

Randy says the guys were really original during the auditions; Paula says song choice will be key, as Simon is talking to her; he says he's looking for personality, originality, and you gotta sing well.

It all drags, then there's a quick flash of each person, with some being shown really for the first time. Given how many of these guys already have record deals/ohave performed extensively, curious how long until someone like Britney decides to come on the show, just to revitalize a career.

David Hernandez up first, the songs are all from the 60s. He grew up poor, single mom; says singing is an escape for him. I like him, sincere and a nice guy. He's out to prove Simon wrong. Wow; what an opening, Midnight Hour--clear and pure; odd cowpokeish outfit, white top and jeans. But the guy has a voice, I like the choice; a bit slick, maybe, but a good performance all around. Wish he let it go a bit more; ugh, bad last sequence, misses a note. Randy says good gospelish start, fell apart at the end, nice overall; wow, his dad is fat. Paula says tough position, but great vocals generally; Simon's got his arm on her chair the whole time. Simon says better than he thought, great start, lost the note at the end, relax a bit and be more distinctive. He admits to Ryan he's relieved, Ryan's already taking random shots at Simon.

Chikezie, who's now apparently going by one name. College student, last year he lost at end of Hollywood round; says he worked hard, back and more than ready, great to be recognized for the work he put in. I really like him, he has something that could make him go far. In retro red suit, seems a bit nervous; thin and a bit oversinging at the start; starts to get a bit more into the groove, but I'm not loving this; I Love You More Today Than Yesterday. Tone is only okay; I don't know, expected more. Randy says pretty good, but make it more fresh; Paula loves seeing him on the stage, has come a long way, lost a lot of weight, throwback; Simon hated the whole thing, his parents are booing; hates the suit--Chikezie jumps on his clothes; hates the wink, old-fashioned, corny, cheesy; this could've been something filmed 40 years ago. Chikezie is really vocal, it's not a good strategy. Talk with Ryan is a mess too, not sure I support him any more.

Ryan's hanging on the couch with Colton, he says at certain angles he looks like Ellen Degenres--hey, maybe her fans can get behind him. Theater brat, totally seems like it. David Cook next to Ryan, totally different vibe. He's up next, a bartender and musician; I like him. Has a very smooth authenticity. Doing the golden grahams song, Happy Together; but wow, good start. In vest, shirt, untied tie, jeans. Starts slow, speeds it up. A sense of humor, having fun with it; makes it rock a bit halfway through, grabs the mike stand, voice gets rough; just wails. I like it; a bit smarmyish, but high energy and good. Randy hated the start, but worked it out, liked it. Paula says it was a bit worthy; original. Simon thought it was good, a bit shouty and weird song choice but almost made it believable.

Jason Yeager, another one of these guys who's had minimal air time. A father who's a singing server; kid is pretty cute, Jason seems younger than his age. Will teens vote for a dad?! Weird yellow streak in his hair. Oh god, doing Moon River; in suit and open collar--this is super cheesy, and not very good. Bad song choice; he's a bit oblivious, like trying to spin his own little world. When in doubt, open with an up-tempo song, unless you're a girl with a huge voice. It's very loungey; Simon's gonna rip him. He can sing, but it's all so staged; man, his kid has a total 70s haircut. Randy says tough song, you can definitely sing but some pitch problems, don't lose your concentration; Paula says she did her first ballet recital to that song, he jumps in to dedicate to his grandmother; Simon says he bought his first puppy to that song, you came across old on that song, very cruise ship, lot of young people watching with a big question mark over their head, reliable but not exciting. He says afterwards vocal coaches have told him the same things. Well, why didn't he listen? Has a mature response to Ryan's question about how he takes Simon's criticism, says he'll learn and come back next week. It's sad, seems like he's trying to flirt with the voters.

Robbie Carrico, the boy band guy who toured with Britney in 2000. Kindof a big question mark, he could be good, or just a big zero. Depends on how genuine he is. One is the Loneliest Number, with bandana, gray shirt and jeans. Not a great song choice so far, his voice is getting lost a bit; some pitch problems too--not to mention the lyrics are incredibly repetitive. Eh, it's just okay, really got nothing out of it. Randy says nice one, loves the song, good version; Paula thinks it's the perfect song, you're authentic and look great, vocals weren't great but not bad; Simon says only performance so far that's even near making sense, current--not bad, struggling a bit with the authenticity, not sure if you're rock or pop. He says he loves rock, this is me. Ha, good luck going up against Cook.

Ah, David Archuleta, I like him--such a kid, and nice. Hope he sings something slow and sweet. Off-the-charts on likeability. Big smile, shirt and jeans; You Better Shop Around. Not sure about the song choice, feel like his voice gets a bit lost. But very high energy, and it's pleasant; some interesting tonal qualities. The chicks are screaming, nice power I guess. Eh, I like it; he's a good singer. Randy says brilliant, very mature, chicks scream; Paula says brave and bold, new side of you; older soul, confident, good job; Simon says when you've got it, you've got it--best performance of the night so far. He's happy, surprised by what Simon says, he says he loves singing in front of the audience--yeah, this kid is going to do very well, just keeps laughing, having a great time. Ryan says you can only vote for him, can't adopt him; he elbows Ryan, says I'm 17!

Danny Noriega, who says he's currently unemployed. Whoo-hoo! Had a lip ring last year, when he got cut early. Says last year he tried to create a little image, this year he's gonna be himself, wants it to be hot, with attitude. Wow, doing Elvis--Rock Around the Clock; tight black pants, white shirt, tie--man, he's totally animated, into it. And there's definitely something edgy about the whole thing. Great song choice; reminds me a bit of the JPL kid from a few years ago; definitely some attitude. Not a great vocal, but the most interesting performance. A bit hyperkinetic, but interesting. Randy is like what's up... loves how he's having a good time, pretty good, vocals were just okay, kind of hot; Paula says very warm, almost scalding, amazing vocals earlier in the process, likes the colors in your voice, a safer song; he plays a bit too much to the camera for me, actually. Simon says performance was verging on grotesque, at least do Elvis well, it was all hidious, you destroyed the song; it was awful. Paula defends him, likes the performer's side of him, mad vocal skills; total bickering between Simon and Paula, Randy helps Paula out, don't try to be like Elvis. He's totally a jerk, actually, goes off a bit on Simon--wow, now I totally don't like this kid, he's an arrogant brat and dumb at that.

Luke Menard, who we've never really seen, and is a carpet cleaner. Another reject from last year. Apparently you can become good in one year. He has an interesting everyman's face; ooh, perfect song choice--Everybody's Talking At Me. Mellow, lets his voice soar out; I like this; coat and shirt and jeans. An unexpectedly interesting voice, a bit compelling too; nice, good ending too. My favorite so far. Randy says pitchy, almost consistently sharp the whole way through; Paula agrees, not the best song choice, talks about his past auditions; Simon says it was forgettable. Ah, I liked it--maybe because I really like the song. You gotta stand out, says Simon. He says he felt good, thinks people will remember this tomorrow, that they'll see his comfort level.

Colton Barry, who I'm predisposed to not like, he seems like some dorky prep school kid. Says he sings the Teletubbies theme song in his head when he's nervous, and did so for hours last round. Okay.... Hmmm, good song choice, Elvis again; Suspicious Minds; in black, with bizarre tight stretchy blue pants. His voice is too weak for this song, now this is forgettable. No real color, looks like a bad Russian karaoke singer. Performance consists of stomping his feet up and down, it's almost like Steve Martin in The Jerk, a lot of spastic movement. Randy says you had a good time, great song, pretty good, rough start but worked it out; his parents look smug and dumb; Paula says it was nice, not best performance but gave it an eager and fun attempt--people aren't sure whether to clap; Simon says okay, nothing recordable there, maybe musical theater, no relevance in today's industry, a complete waste of time. Paula says hopefully you'll get more of a chance to show you're not a poor man's version of Elvis, Simon says he wishes he'd spend as much time on the voice as he does on the hair.

Garrett, hmm, there may be something interesting about this kid. Looks like Frodo a bit, big hair. Only three left; so far nothing inspiring. Says he's been watching the show forever, seems to have a sense of humor. Total midwest accent, even touch of Canadian--says his mom always told him to go big or go home... okay, given that he lives at home.... Nice kid, speaks deliberately, I like him. Goes soft and light, god, it's cheesy; so low-energy and plodding; Breaking Up is Hard to Do. It's amazingly boring, by far the least inspiring of the night; what was he thinking?! Big audience response at the end, though. Randy says glad that's over, right? Didn't do anything with it, make these things your own, some pitch problems, kindof boring; Paula says do something different, speed it up, slow tempo brings it down; Simon says boring, voice sounded whiny, look terrified, looks like you've been shut up in your bedroom for a month, verging on haunted--pale, need some fresh air.... Kid's nice, just taking it all. Not making yourself relevant, young, current. He tries to hit back at Simon a few times, but it's ineffectual. He says, as if by rote, he'll learn from it.

Whoah, Jason Castro, dreadlocks guy, playing an instrument. Hey, why not. Very mellow guy. A drummer, interesting look; very calm vibe, almost comatose. Says he's always stayed in the back his whole life, time to put himself out there, see what everybody thinks. Playing a guitar; What a Day for Daydream. Hey, he can sing; I like it, happy, gets the crowd into it, speeds it up a bit so it's not so boring. Some interesting trills in there; the most interesting performance of the night, easily. Bit of Green Day in there; needs to improve his facial expressions maybe, but I liked it. Randy likes it, some interesting things vocally, bit pitchy but it was allright; Paula says you blew me away, good song choice, effortless and joyful; Simon top two of the night--you and David have just got it, have charisma, terrific. He says it's scary up here to Ryan, totally nervous but likeable. Him and Archuleta were both a bit overwhelmed by the praise from Simon, both have a joyfulness that comes through.

Ah, the confident Aussie, Michael Johns closes. He must feel like he's a man among boys. Says he's from Australia originally, now living in Atlanta; I don't know, I generally don't like Australians and so far I don't like him, except he did sing Bohemian Rhapsody really well. He wants to be judged on his voice and passion, not his Aussieness. Fair enough. Ooh, the Doors, Light My Fire. He has some sort of star quality to him; confident, strong; good song choice. The chicks are totally screaming for him--he's playing it up too, good performer. I don't know, not doing it for me--not my favorite song, and I still think he's a bit purposeful, but not bad. Randy says he loved him from day one, a true legend/rock performer, that was hot; Paula says good way to end, liked it; Simon says the most consistent contestant so far, a bit overtrying but natural charisma of a lead singer, you've just got it. Ah, the Brits and the Aussies, got each others' back. He thanks the judges, it's kindof a dumb thing to say.

So I guess I think Colton and Garrett are gone. An uninspiring start for the guys; hope the women are better.

Jason Castro, Rockwell, Texas
Luke Menard, 29, Crawfordville, Indiana
David Cook, 25, Blue Springs, Missouri
David Archuleta, 17, Murray, Utah
Michael Johns, 29, Atlanta, Georgia
David Hernandez, 24, Glendale, Arizona
Danny Noriega, 18, Azusa, California
Robbie Carrico, 26, Melbourne, Florida
Chikezie, 22, Inglewood, California
Jason Yeager, 28, Grand Praire, Texas
Colton Berry, 18, Stanton, Virginia
Garrett Haley, 17, Elida, Ohio

Top 6 predictions after Hollywood round
David Archuleta
Danny Noriega
Michael Johns
Chikezie Eze
David Hernandez
David Cook