Hollywood week, on Obama-Tuesday

Well, now that Obama has pretty much sewn up the nomination it's off to Hollywood week on Idol. 164 contestants, Ryan tells us; look forward to fleshing out my list of faves. Hmm, a new format, Seacrest hints. Back to two hours, at least.

They show some memorable moments from past years; then have Simon saying all but 50 of you are gonna be going home. New wrinkle: nobody really gets cut on the first two days, everyone gets two shots.

Well, so what's the point of the first round then? Brooke White first, the no-rated-R-movie chick who I liked. She's nervous as heck; they get to play instruments this year, going to sing and play. She's good, has some depth to her voice, it has life experience; very nice. Simon says he really likes her, great potential, Carly Simon/Carole Kingish. And she's through directly to the final day.

Lorena Pino, big smile girl, has some problems; some chick they've never shown before gets Nos too. Leo Marlowe, who I didn't like, goes cheesy and gets nixed too. They come back with a montage of people on stage; then Alisha Dixon, who has trouble with her instrument and keeps shouting after she's told to stop. Some new kid, Micheal, has guitar problems too; Alyssa Coco, another one they've never shown before, gets cut off quickly; Shaun Barrowes is just cheesy--a lot of critiques about the instruments, sheesh, just stop it already. Rely on your strength.

Jake Mellema does a super-cheesy song while banging away on the drums, it's totally ridiculous--are these people idiots? Stand up there, sing with nothing between you and the judges. Simon tells him horrible all around, nothing redeeming.

David Hernandez, another guy we haven't seen before; a bit too much maybe, based on his audition clip. Ooooh, he can totally sing--the other contestants start whooping a bit; he's gonna appeal to the chicks, I like him too, has a nice smile and good style. Hmm, a natural performer, has got people into it. Limited voice maybe, but he has a good song choice, Love the One You're With. Randy loved it from note one, Simon says great, very comfortable up there. He seems pretty humble; with a sense of humor as he goofs around a bit after.

Halfway through day one, it's really moving quick; some people getting ripped. Ryan keeps saying the competition is really stiff; so far they've only shown two people. Rocker nurse Amanda Overmyer, who was in a bad accident after the auditions. Does an interesting verison of Light My Fire; it's a bit much for me, but she's really into it, and it feels very authentic. Abrupt ending, tepid response from the peers; Randy says you're really Janis Joplinish, loves it, unique; Paula adores her; Simon says everything you do is the same, need to shade your voice otherwise it'll become monotonous.

More failures, including people who didn't know the words... some Bo Bice-wannabe is ridiculous, some chick just keeps screaming; they've never shown any of these people, including a chick who just stands there and vamps, totally forgets the words. Last contestant of the day--super-cheesy Ghaleb Emachah, they show him macking on the ladies. He's funny; I hope he sticks around, one of these puffery guys. Sings this totally cheesy version of Everything I Do--it's so over-the-top, but Paula's totally lapping it up. His voice really isn't that good, it becomes a bit painful, Simon finally cuts it off. Paula says not as impressed as the first time around, too much shouting, and too much guitar. Simon calls it incredibly corny, terrible.

I don't understand why Ryan keeps harping on the fact that 55 people didn't make it to the last day, and will have to sing again--these guys aren't good, none of them seemed to deserve a second chance, why do we care?! The ones who were good get to hang out at the hotel.

Day two, 80 more people audition for the first time. Josiah Leming, the breakout star so far, is up next. "I made every mistake a man can make, in the past year; and now it's time to pull it all together and put it towards something good". Wow, he is amazingly good when he sings and plays one of his own songs--this kid should be out recording CDs! He's really, really good--we finally have our Paris Bennett moment this year. The lyrics are interesting, his tone is great, everyone really likes him--the look, the voice, the smile; Paula says he has a magical thing, everyone is grinning. Simon says this is the one he'll remember out of everyone. He's really happy.

Danny Noriega does well too; the two of them are gonna be in the top 12. Ramiele Malubay, who's good too; Carly Smithson, the tatooed girl, is like a pro, powerful but a bit pitchy. Michael Johns is not bad, does the Doors as well. Simon says you should all hate Carly, cause she's very good.

Day two is half done, they show David Cook again, the rocker. Does Bryan Adams as well; but a bit grittier than the Latin guy, I like it, in part because I like the song. He must have been eating candy or something, blue tongue; after a while I do get tired of listening to him, not sure why they're pushing him so much. Simon says he wasn't crazy about it, no guitar and you'll have trouble, he says no but is through anyway. Ryan tries to suck up to him afterwards, Cook says he's jealous of the hair.

Robbie Carrico does another version of same song, I like his better actually; Jessica Brown, ditto; it's generic with her, plus she's pitchy. Perrie Cataldo, for two seconds, Syesha Mercado for two secs, some Colton kid--all forgettable but for Robbie. Syesha's left in tears, I liked her in auditions, she had a dysfunctional dad.

Kyle Ensley next, one of the real surprises, the nerdy politician guy, who's been assigned a room with two girls; I like him, he's fun; they're still playing up the nerd aspect. Sings some totally ridiculous song, it's hokier then heck. I'd cut him right now. Simon says I surrender; Paula says it was fun, good spirit; Simon's like jeez, it was abysmal. The judges are cracking up; Paula is just going on, Simon walks off--he gets a No I guess, never really show it.

Again, Ryan goes on about how it'll be a vicious first cut--there's nobody who didn't make it directly through that I like! Save the airtime, cut them all now, and give us more behind-the-scenes goofing around with the contestants.

48 are through directly; they show 2 seconds of them messing around. Groups of 10 come out to sing a capella for a few seconds. Good luck, it's do or die says Simon. Some chick is hanging out with her voice coach. Oooh, Perrie Cataldo, who I didn't realize was vulnerable--I loved him, the single dad. Suzanne Toon, also a single parent; wow, great, she should never be in danger of cutting. Cataldo next, is great too; a bit showy and cheesy though.

One group stands forward, only two make it out--neither of whom we saw; and both Perrie and Suzanne are cut. It sucks, I liked both of them. It's weird they didn't show us the two good ones, wonder why.

They show a lot of Amy Flynn--abstinence girl--with her older, black female voice coach. It's weird that her coach is with her the whole time, picked the song for her, Amy says she's never heard it before. Not a good idea. Love Will Bring You Back; she sings it well; totally puts her all into it, very loud but powerful, bith pitchy. I like her; and she's one of only two who doesn't make it out of this group. I blame her coach.

They cut everyone in another group; a bunch of people get cut, and some cry. Ryan is being documentary-serious, it's weird--he says 40 have sung, only 4 have made it through. Obviously out of sequence, since Amy's group had 8 make it through.

This part is really starting to drag; I would rather watch winners playing on the beach. More people cut, including one who we already saw crying; hmm, they usually edit pretty well, not so much this year. Serious Ryan talks about being able to hear a pin drop; a bunch of people we've never met are cut, why would we care?

Kayla Hatfield, who was in car accident, Angelica Puente, who lives with her grandparents, are gone. Kristy Lee Cook, backswoods girl, is in danger of going home! Oh no; sings Amazing Grace, again. Oh no, the crazy Jeffrey Lampkin guy is in danger! He's loud, proud, and totally fun; come on big guy, you can make it--his sister was already cut. Totally huge voice, judges are cringing a bit though--a bit too over-the-top I think. Now Ryan is whispering, he's totally ridiculous.

Angela Martin, whose baby has a disability; her dad was killed, before he could come out to join her. My gosh, it's crazy.... My god, if they cut her now! And she's great, so that's good. Oh no--Angela's cut, but Jeffrey at least made it. Glad backswood girl made it; it's horrible about Angela. Jeffrey is still praising Jesus and all. Angela says now I have to move on to something else, I'm very strong.

Ryan is still speaking in hushed tones, he's been floored by the whole thing. Next, the best part of the night, maybe the entire show--when they put them in dysfunctional teams. Hey, we're back from break--did they eliminate this part of the show?! NO WAY! This show is run by idiots! Yeah, get rid of all the personal parts!

They sing with a band, and three background singers; just like the top 24, says Ryan. Well, great, let's have multiple similar rounds, that's brilliant. David Archuleta, who had paralyzed vocal chords; Simon thought he was incredible in the first part of this round--thanks for showing the song! Sings Heaven, what is it with these Bryan Adams things; it's a great choice though, very pure and simple, as he said he wanted to make sure the judges understood it. This year's Kevin Covais, maybe with a little more soul. Randy says at 16 that was the best we've heard in Hollywood; Paula calls him a gem, Simon says you have so much going for him--he's beaming the whole time, nice kid.

Kyle next, again with the cheesy songs from these young guys, but he also has a very nice purity to his voice, Wing Beneath My Wings; Randy says that was actually very good, Paula calls it safe, Simon apologizes for leaving him up there, thought it was good.

Jeffrey Lampkin gets axed, sings A Whole New World, badly; what is it with these people?! Joey Cattalano, the formerly fat kid, just off-key, painful to listen to. Totally off; weird, doesn't seem like the backup singers are doing anything.

Syesha, who Ryan says made it through on the merits of her past performance, even though she's pretty much lost her voice. Mmm, strong, proud performance, can't tell she's been having trouble with her voice; actually uses the backups, powers through the end. I like her. Randy says you're one to watch, could sneak up on people, with your skills; Paula says that was great, rest your voice. Simon says you did it; yeah, people with this kind of drive do well.

Michael Johns, the Aussie; chooses Bohemian Rhapsody, and he's very good; smooth, controlled, sincere. The other contestants are totally into it, a pretty compelling style. Randy liked it, Simon says best of the day.

Suddenly, there are a lot of people who can really sing. I'm still stunned they got rid of the random groups. Their ratings are down compared to last year, deservedly so if this is the best format the suits could come up with.

More on Carly, who I have no interest in, she's allergic to her dog or something. Sings Cher; good song choice, she's very serious and can definitely sing. Bit off-key though; not sure why they're featuring her so much. The backups can be heard on this; they're pretty shrieky though, not sure it's good. Maybe AI wanted to test out how the contestants would do in real-world circumstances. Simon says good song choice, good confidence. She's through.

Asia'h Epperson, who I liked, the one who lost her dad. She has attitude, too. Simon loves it, says she's terrific, brilliant. Brooke Helvey, the beauty queen. Ugh, she's off-key doing Unchained Melody. What is it with all those warhorses? Man, she totally misses the high note, then is like I messed up! Randy says no; Simon weirdly says yes, Paula says she's on the fence, she redoes it, even though they say they don't have time for it; Paula can't decide, Brooke keeps lobbying her, but she's out. I think she should've just shut up, cries and claims she wasn't given a fair chance.

Others we failed are shown crying. Late at night, Josiah is last, apparently got little sleep--ah, explains they got 200 songs to choose from. He's up late previous night, 3:30 a.m. doing runthrough, crying in the hallway, says he feels defeated, the band didn't wanna hear his arrangements. Runs into a vocal coach, who says you screwed up, but come on back later, we'll try again for time #6. He's desperate backstage--less than 2 hours of sleep.

He kicks the band off stage, even though he tips his hat to them. Right choice; he really wants this, and this is the way to do it. Stand by Me--cause I hear it in my head. Man, it's a great version; his own spin on it, so authentic and appropriate. We are looking at the next American Idol--he's slightly touched, wants this amazingly badly, and is creative as heck.

Randy says that was your worse performance, that was not good; hmm, I totally disagree. Paula says bad choice; but you're very talented. Josiah says it took a lot of guts; Simon says now you're being annoying; if you're going to dismiss the band, be certain it's an unbelievable vocal. Simon says you lost a bit of your charm, overconfidence; he starts crying. Randy says based on the past, you're through;
Paula says yes too; Simon says I still think you're a great guy.

He cries afterwards. You either love him, or are becoming annoyed by him. So now they say the judges are gonna decide--but I thought they already said yes or no to everyone?! Man, how many weird repeating layers are there?

They flash back, I really don't understand why there are suddenly so many layers this year. Man, this montage is going on forever; it's not that compelling either. Like a five-minute thing; more random clips. Top 50--cut to the top 24.

They have random clips of judges arguing about contestants, without showing who they're talking about. It's Simon saying no, no a bunch. So they also cut the fun thing where they're in three rooms, and two rooms go on, one not. Sheesh.

One good thing--there are a lot of good guys this year. Either that, or they're purposefully just showing us a lot of them.

Josiah Leming
David Archuleta
Michael Johns
David Hernandez
Asia'h Epperson
Syesha Mercado
Danny Noriega
Brooke White
Robbie Carrico
Kyle Easley
David Cook
Carly Smithson
Ramiele Malubay