Pros and the fools

They start by reviewing last week's show--most of which I didn't see due to the tape being used up taping American Idol (it was a fair tradeoff). The frat boys won, followed by hippies; mother/daughter finished last. About time for a non-elim show....

Anyway, they went from Russia to Munich, Germany. It's one of the most important business centers in Europe, they tell us; ironically a 'monument to peace' was their pit stop. Frat boys leave at 2:14 a.m., flying to Palermo, Italy, then taxi to an opera house. They say they're not overanalyzing, just competing, getting chicks. Hippies leave about an hour later, talk about how they use humor to get people to wanna help them. Then unhappy Southern couples, catch up with hippies and follow them; idiot husband says he thinks she can do better, he's still the leader of this team. Frats get booked on Air Italia, getting there 10:15, flirt with the help; then find some wheelchairs, mock-fight. Hippies just join them, no thinking for themselves--then a funny obstacle course race between the two.

Hippies book their own flights online, same as frat boys--well, actually frat boys waiting in line for Italia to open. Southerners try, no succcess--hmmm, did hippies get last tickets?! Next, Dave/Lori daters, talk about how they're falling deeply in love. Then Joseph/Monica, who I like, they're just decent people.

Frat boys can't get on first flight, fully booked; Southerners squabble, try Lufthansa, instead of doing stand-by--they book something that arrives at... 2:00? Old couple happy to get on 1:25 flight; squabble with Southerners, telling them ot stand back. Hippies are off, frat boys work it with Air Italia so they get on same flight too. Jeez, it's like the pros and the fools.

It's almost 7, Ray/Yolanda on their way to the airport just now. Chick friends last, bit after them. Show the B-teams on the second flight out already; the C-teams get lucky, only like 30 minutes behind the top guys. Connecting flights in Rome, hippies on flight one to Palermo, frat boys a bit behind.

But way ahead of other idiots. Southerners squabble, husband blames wife, starts swearing about workers. Bad karma, dude, just keeps swearing--and doesn't even know that he didn't just go from first to last. Frat boys are starting to grow on me, at least they just play the game, and with some skill. Stupid wife kisses up to Southerner husband; meanwhile R/Y and pinkies join them.

Hippies at clue box already, now gotta drive 42 miles to seaside town, look for a box on a fortress. Frat boys, then old couple and Dave/Lori, then all else. They show frat boy fixing his hair. Hippies already at detour, foundry or laundry. Either pick up a 110 lb church bell and carry it up to a church; or search 2400 pieces of laundry to find one of 16 marked clothing. Uh, duh....

And idiot hippies choose laundry, unbelievable. Don't they watch this show, you should never look for stuff when you can just do stuff. Other teams all bunching up, in race to drive to small town. Old people driving crazy, kindof funny. Dave/Lori get caught in traffic. Patient hippies searching laundry, and find the tag already, totally lucky. Ham it up, they're having fun. Next, drive 13 miles to old city, look for old amphitheater. And there's a yield ahead, they'll yield frat boys.... All in good fun.

Pinkies have trouble with stick.... Frats choose laundry too, search together dumbly. Joseph/Monica in third now, doing church bells; frat boys already find tag, my guess is they're farther back than editing shows. Beautiful countryside for hippies, hopefully they don't use yield now--they may need it more later. And they fake us out, choose not to yield! Good. Roadblock--need to piece together Greek statue, with two extra pieces.

Dating couple quibble over bell carrying speed. Guy lifts it up stairs by himself, pretty cool. Off they go to next town. Old couple can't even find cluebox, of course they're gonna do laundry. Perfect task for a confused old couple, they wonder if young kids know what a clothespin is. J/M do laundry too; old people find tag pretty quickly. R/Y doing the bell, good. Southerners find box, wife praises husband for seeing it. Pinks drive blindly, find clue box by luck, in last place but right next to Southerners. R/Y carry bell together; D/L looking for laundry; idiot Southerners go right past laundry place, pinks show up as D/L as still searching, so now 3 couples search at once. D/L getting frustrated, they've been there a while.

Southerners are amazing at sheer amount of laundry, Ray carries bell by himself too, Yolando says she's in awe. D/L find it, then Southerners, total luck. Pinks still search. R/Y looking for directions, D/L just drive, beat them by a bit. Hmm, R/Y get lost; frat boys get to yield place. Hippies still doing statue, finish, figuring two extra pieces. Then gotta run downhill to temple pit stop, one of the best-preserved buildings of ancient times they say, they mock say ooh, we better hurry; see frat boys coming up as they finish.

Frat boys work on statue, finish; J/M in 3rd, start on statue as frats finish, not happy to be second. Hmm, odd, they replay Southerners finding or something? Thought it was much earlier. Southerners speed off, hopefully they screw up; wonder if they should yield girls, wife says I'll let you decide. R/Y may be lost, oh-oh; and they are, think they lost like 30 minutes. Old people in 4th, up to statue place, J/M having some trouble with statue. Husband tells wife to relax, beautiful view. Dumb M flummoxed by extra pieces, figure it out, helps out old couple too. Southerners catch J/M, race to see who yields who; dumbly Southerners see J/M finishing, ran to pit stop by mistake, lots of swearing, old couple finish and say they can't tell them where statue place is. R/Y are still driving and it's dark... pinks show up next. Southerners swear quite a lot, some crazy editing here--apparently people are having trouble just getting up to the top, not a good sign.

Southerners yield pinks, say they're sorry... now girls gotta wait, R/Y have a shot. It's harder putting together statues in the dark. R/Y make it, finally--girls are crying; call the Southerners hicks, mock their accents. Idiot husband is yelling like an idiot. Idiot J/M take statue back apart, two extra pieces screw them. Girls say they're gonna ramp it up, finish yield--before R/Y get there. Stupid J/M team is breaking theirs up, she's like totally freaking out, trying to force things, boy what a bunchof idiots, her boyfriend isn't helping her any. Meanwhile, calm pink girl just putting it all together. Stupid girl finally just shows work, and she's done. Stupid Southerners on way down tell R/Y they can still not be eliminated if they run (almost taunting); Southern guy starts crying, finishes 5th not dead last.

Pinks vs. R/Y, race to finish statue first, then run to temple. D/L finish 6th, both totally crying, mad they were frustrated with each other; actually she comforts him. Ray taunting pinks, saying he's coming fast. Wife tells him to ask it you're done with two extra pieces; pinks not done--R/Y are done, and off they go. Now pinks, off they run--no way they'll beat them. Oh oh, R/Y can't find the temple, have to look at a map--but they get there first. They finish 7th, not even sure how teams there are.

Pinks are last--and they're eliminated, not devastated, actually pretty cool final speech, girls from New York. Ugh, talk about frat boys though, problem is the girls never thought they'd be able to beat all the guys.

Hmm, next episode looks interesting--the old team is gaining steam, Monica/Joseph flip out.

Uncredited photo of frat boy Jeremy at Teatro di Segesta via CBS.